Monthly Archives: September 2010

7 Keys To A Successful FIRST DATE

First dates can and should be fun. When you are having fun, the chances of your date partner enjoying themselves is also increased; and your chances of having a romantic connection are multiplied.  Here are 7 keys to having a successful first date:

  1. Be excited: excitement and positive energy is contagious… regardless of how well or poorly your work day (or week) has gone, let your date know that you are happy to be there.
  2. Be on time: nothing short circuits a good date more than showing up late for your first meeting. Plan a location you are familiar with, or plan on arriving early if you’ve not been there before.  If you are unavoidably late, call ahead to advise your date so they don’t think that you’ve forgotten about them!
  3. Be prepared: come prepared with some good conversation starters (travel stories; fun things you did over the summer; etc.), and a few ‘easy to answer’ questions for your date.  Try to keep an equal balance between talking and listening.
  4. Be positive: a classic winning strategy for a first date!  Avoid potentially negative topics (past relationships; work/family issues; politically or religiously sensitive issues; etc.); focus instead of fun topics, favorite travel stories, good concerts or events that you have attended recently.
  5. Be focused: turn off your cell phone or mobile device at the start of the date and focus on the person you are with. Being genuinely interested in someone is a powerfully attractive quality.
  6. Be forward: if you feel the date is going well, and you are both enjoying yourselves, don’t feel as though you have to wait  3 days before asking them out again.  Try asking for a 2nd date before your first date is through.
  7. Be open minded but frank: unless you are ABSOLUTELY sure that there is no chance of a romantic connection with your date, arrange to see them a 2nd time in a more relaxed setting.  A 2nd date is often a better time to establish if you are truly compatible. If, however, you are sure there is no connection, then it is appropriate to politely let your date partner know that after your first meeting.

The Top 3 Best And Worst First Date Conversation Topics

First dates are an important part of the dating process which, when done successfully, can help you identify a compatible relationship partner.  Here are some tips on what to say, and not say, on a first date:

Top 3 Best First Date Conversation Topics:

  • Where are you from?: a classic ‘ice breaker’ question that is sure to get things off to a positive start and lead to other interesting conversational topics.
  • What was the most fun thing you did this summer?: keeping your questions and the conversation positive is an important element of a first date.
  • Tell an interesting travel story: talk about a fun trip that you have done recently, and ask your date partner about their favorite travel story.

Top 3 Worst First Date Conversation Topics:

  • Past relationships: avoid delving into past relationships… there will be plenty of time for this at a later stage when you both know each other much better than on a first date.
  • Why are you still single?: this is an awkward question that may put your date on the defensive… keep it positive.
  • Are you interested in marriage/kids?: again, there will be plenty of time to discuss this in the future once you have connected, but not on a first date.

    7 Most Popular Dating Myths

    Dating, in particular ‘Positive Dating’, is an effective and essential means of identifying a compatible relationship partner.  The professional matchmakers at Executive Search Dating, however, are often struck by how many misperceptions there are about dating.  Here are 7 of the most common dating myths:

    1. Dating is hard: in fact, dating can and should be fun; the key element in successful dating is to be yourself and not try to be someone you think your date wants you to be.
    2. Chemistry needs to happen ‘at first site’: in fact, a first date is NOT necessarily the best time to decide if you have long term compatibility with someone.  A second or even third date with someone is often a better time to gauge true compatibility.
    3. There are no more single men or women out there: the ratio of single and available men and women is a lot closer to ’1 to 1′ than most people would think.  The challenge, particularly for single professionals, is that many quality singles don’t necessarily go to bars or online to find someone special.
    4. A first date should feel like an interview: in fact the reverse is true.  The first date should be fun; remember that the primary purpose of the first date is to establish whether you have even a little bit of chemistry.  When you focus on having fun, the chances of connecting with someone increase.
    5. If I meet someone I like, the first date should be long and incredible: not necessarily; often an effective approach can be to keep the first date relatively short and fun.  If things are going well, make arrangements to see each other again before the end of your first date.
    6. I need to impress my date, especially on a first date: actually, you can often make a better impression by focusing as much on your date as you do talking about yourself.
    7. By talking about my job (or checking my emails during the date) I can make a good impression on someone: actually, talking about your work on a first date is not necessarily a good thing.  Try focusing more on fun things; travel stories, plans for the fall, etc.