Monthly Archives: October 2012

9 Ways You Can Date Better Than You Deserve

Perfect or even good matches don’t just happen. In fact, waiting for Mr. or Ms. Right to come walking into your living room is rarely a successful approach.

So how do you INCREASE your chances of meeting someone special, maybe even someone who you never thought you’d have the chance to meet? Here are 9 ways how:

  1. Be bold: as someone once famously said, ‘fortune favors the bold’, and that’s true for dating as well. Break out of your comfort zone and approach some new people in social and everyday settings. You have nothing to lose but your single life.
  2. Be creative: Einstein once said, ‘Insanity is doing the same things over and over again and expecting a different result’, and likewise for dating. Visit some new neighbourhoods, do your weekly shopping in a different and new market, take some cooking classes, etc… every new situation is an opportunity to meet some new people.
  3. Be proactive: don’t wait for your special someone to find you; take some proactive steps to meet someone new. Professional dating services, such as Executive Search Dating, are successful in Vancouver for a reason: they work. Join one and see for yourself.
  4. Be first: one of the most common mistakes singles make when they are out socially is to not approach someone that interests them sooner rather than later. Staring at someone all night while you have a few more drinks to buck up your courage to introduce yourself may seem logical, but it usually fails. Your best bet in dating, and in life, is to commit to making the first step.
  5. Be positive: as simple and basic as it may seem, smiling and projecting a positive demeanor when in social situations is one of THE most important components of meeting someone new.
  6. Be fearless: losing the fear of approaching someone new is one of the most difficult challenges in dating, particularly in Vancouver. There is no magic solution to this one; however, asking yourself the following question may help: ‘What have I got to lose?’
  7. Be polite: forget about cheesy approach lines; when introducing yourself to someone new keep it simple and polite. After all, as Canadians, politeness in hard wired into us so its highly unlikely that someone will respond to politeness with rudeness.
  8. Be resilient: not everyone new that you meet will be single or interested in you, but don’t let that deter you. Meeting someone new is a numbers game at some level: the chances of connecting with someone will increase in proportion to the number of new people that you meet.
  9. Be optimistic: its natural to feel discouraged if you’ve been dating but not really connecting with someone. But being optimistic and hopeful is always the best strategy… and keep an open mind when you are meeting someone new. The truth is that the qualities that REALLY matter are the ones below the surface.

7 Most Frightening Halloween Dating Do’s And Don’ts

Halloween can be scary, but Halloween dating doesn’t have to be. In fact, Halloween in Vancouver has become THE most anticipated party season of the year.

But how to turn a costume into a compatible relationship partner? Here’s how:

Halloween Dating Do’s:

Treats alone won’t do the trick: yes handing out candied treats to your neighbors kids is a time honored and noble tradition; but if you are single don’t get stuck spending the entire night at home answering the door bell. Take advantage of the Halloween spirit, pull together a few friends, and hit the costumed party circuit. A costume change might be just the trick your single life needs.

Go big or stay home: get in costume! Unlike a normal party, showing up at a Halloween party without a costume is not a winning strategy. Chatting with ghouls, goblins and Draculas will feel strange if you are dressed in your standard work attire, or jeans and a t-shirt. Make a simple costume at home, or together with friends, or pick up an inexpensive costume at the local drug store. It’s the one time of year that you’ll feel LESS awkward WITH a costume than without.

Use your illusion: although approaching someone new at a bar or restaurant on an average weekend night may not be your thing; you’ll find doing so ‘in costume’ is a whole lot easier. Be bold: approach everyone you meet at the Halloween party. And fear not, if you do get ‘shot down’, no-one will recognize you anyway!

Halloween Dating Don’ts:

Be yourself: what makes Halloween so great is that being in costume allows people to break free from their comfort zones. Ditch your tried and true approach lines and try these Halloween approach line classics: “I love your costume, where did you get it?”, or “Tell me honestly, what do you think of my costume?”, or if you meet someone in a confusing costume (a frequent occurrence at most parties): “Great costume, what character are you supposed to be?”

Wear a costume that ‘locks you down’: fun costumes are a great conversation starter, but avoid overly gory face makeup and/or costumes that limit your ability to move and mingle. The Godzilla costume you’ve been preparing for weeks might be fun, but you don’t want members of the opposite sex fleeing in terror. Plus, overly heavy or thick costumes will quickly turn the dance floor into your own personal sauna!

Put all your Halloween eggs in one basket: once you’ve got a good costume and a spirit of adventure, don’t limit yourself to just one party. Halloween has become big business so there are typically different parties spread out over a number of days. Look at this as the last, best chance to party before the holiday season madness.

Be creepy: Halloween should be fun, not creepy. If you are interested in someone by all means impress them with your costume; but good old fashioned politeness and friendliness will likely be required to interest them in seeing you ‘sans costume’.

Here’s A Quick Way To Create “Chemistry” On Your Date

There are many things you can prepare for on a date. Chemistry isn’t one of them. The problem with chemistry is that its very hard to predict when you’ll have it and when you won’t. And thinking and/or worrying about it doesn’t help.

But here’s something you probably didn’t know about “chemistry”: its not just physical. In fact, true chemistry happens at a deeper level than just physical appearance. Here’s a quick way to create some on your first date:

  • Make your date feel “special” and “important” – here’s the how and why:
  • HOW to make your date feel special: pay attention to your date; smile and provide lots of positive reinforcement; actively listen to them; give them a sincere compliment; be positive and respectful.
  • WHY make your date feel special?: when someone feels respected, valued and ‘special’, they are more likely to see you through a positive lens. Although this may not change their view of your physical appearance, it may allow them to give you a ‘second look’ if at first they don’t find you attractive. Once you are on a second or third date with someone, your true ‘inner qualities’ will have a better chance to shine and attract your date partner. And these ‘inner qualities’ are in fact more important than pure physical attraction in creating long term chemistry that can grow over time.

The Secret Of Making A GREAT First Impression On A Date

Everybody knows that first impressions matter. But it gets worse: in dating, a bad ‘first date’ impression may also be your last. No, relationship ready singles don’t decide to marry someone on a first date, but they may decide whether they want to see someone a second time. So, yes, first impressions DO matter in dating.

And here’s the good news; making a good first impression on a date is not rocket science, just some good old fashioned common sense.  Here’s the ‘secret’:

Be PRESENT and POSITIVE on your date. Here’s the hows and whys:

  • Being PRESENT means being focused on your date: arrive on time, put your smart-phone away, make eye contact and  be interested and interesting on your date. Make your date feel that he/she is important and they’ll likely reciprocate.
  • Why be PRESENT?: being present is ultimately being respectful of the person you are with; and when someone feels respected your chances of getting a second date increase, even if your date isn’t initially ‘attracted’ to you.
  • Being POSITIVE means having fun on your date: smile and be relaxed (it shouldn’t feel like an interview; more like a meeting with a potential friend); share some light hearted and funny stories; come prepared with a few easy to answer questions (ie. ‘what fun things did you do over the summer?’; ‘what do you love doing the most in Vancouver?’; ‘what are your plans for the weekend?’, etc.).
  • Why be POSITIVE?: being positive and having fun on your date is the best way to ensure that your date has fun too. If you are both having fun, the chances of making it to a second date increase, even if your date isn’t initially ‘attracted’ to you.

 

 

5 Signs You Can Ask For A Second Date

One of the biggest mistakes in dating is to judge someone too quickly on a first date. The reality is this: you’ll likely not know if someone is your perfect match on a first meeting.

The key to successful dating is focusing more on a second (or third) date with someone to determine whether they are a good match for you or not. But how and when to ask for a second date?

Here are some classic first date signs that your date is ready for a second date:

  1. It’s in the smile: a smile is a person’s most basic way of showing their interest in you… if your date is smiling easily and often consider it a very good sign. On the other hand, if your date is frowning consider it a sign that you need to change topics.
  2. Doesn’t feel like a date: when conversation is flowing freely its typically a sign that the date is going well… avoid turning the date into an ‘interview’; keeps things casual, and you’ll increase the chances of a second date.
  3. Body language: as important as words, a person’s body language can often tell you how the date is going… if your date’s body language is open, warm and inviting its a sign that they are enjoying your company. If they are exhibiting ‘closed’ body language (arms crossed, body pointing away from you, tense, etc.) its likely a sign that the date isn’t going well.
  4. Fun times: if you are having fun on your date, it likely means your date is having fun as well. Focus on enjoying yourself and being positive on your date and your chances of a second date will be good.
  5. When in doubt, ask: the single biggest mistake singles make on a first date is not asking for a second date. There’s no need or reason to wait for days before contacting someone again. If things are going well on your first date, ask for a second date (something casual, a coffee, movie or an upcoming events that interests you and them, etc.). You’ll never have a better chance to ask for a second date, than at the end of a good first date.