When’s the last time someone told you it’s easy to meet someone new in Vancouver? The answer is probably ‘never’.
But here’s the good news, and I hope you’re sitting down for it: yes you can meet someone new in Vancouver, in fact its a lot easier than you think it is. So what’s the secret? Here it is:
- The waiting game is a losing game: in Vancouver, and in life, good things rarely come to those that wait. In particular, waiting for Mr. or Ms. Perfect to come up to you and ask you on a date is not a good option. Having a proactive approach is the way to go; when you’re out with friends, commit to approaching someone new and saying ‘hi’. You’ll be surprised at how positively you’ll be received.
- Leave the lines at home: forget everything you heard, stock approach lines don’t work. The problem with approach lines is that they aren’t ‘natural’, which will likely make you feel uncomfortable saying them and the other person even moreso. Sticking to the basics (‘Hi, how are you? My name’s “John/Jane”, how’s your evening going so far?’), or a simple, sincere compliment are a better way to go.
- More social, less shark: if you’re out with friends and looking to meet someone new, don’t just focus on that one person who’s caught your eye. Instead, make an effort to be positive and fun, and engage and chat with all those around you (friends, restaurant/bar staff, couples, etc.) – it’ll make approaching that special someone seem more natural, and make you seem more attractive as a result.
- Hire a Matchmaker: if you’re a busy single or professional, and don’t have the time or energy for the bar scene or internet dating, hire a personalized matchmaking service such as Executive Search Dating. We’ll interview and screen compatible matches that are right for you, and even set the dates up for you. You just go on your dates and meet someone who’s a great fit for you. Call us today at 604-462-8743 to schedule your free consultation with one of our professional matchmakers.
Dating services, including online dating services, have become the most popular way for singles to meet in Vancouver. That’s a good thing.
Here’s the problem: some dating services, in particular online dating services, only succeed when singles continue to use their service – in other words, if everyone found their ‘match’ right away they’d have very few active members, making it hard for you to meet someone compatible on their site.
With that in mind, here’s some online dating advice you should IGNORE if you’re interested in finding a relationship, not just endless dating:
- ‘Dating is a numbers game’: actually, no its not – unless you’re talking about the number 1, which is the number of people that you will ultimately truly connect with. The thought that meeting 20 or 30 singles will increase your chances of meeting ‘The One’ is incorrect. More likely, going on 20 to 30 dates will make you feel frustrated and give up on dating which won’t help you find your special someone.
- ‘Now that you’ve met someone interesting, here’s 5 other profiles for you’: once you’ve met someone that you’re interested in (and they you), your best best is to take some time to get to know them before going on a bunch of other dates. If you’re online dating, avoid the daily barrage of supposed ‘matches’. You’re better off with one real match, than 10 online profiles.
- ‘We’re sorry to see you go; here’s a half price offer’: instead of endlessly renewing your online dating membership (or more likely, being ‘auto-renewed’), consider trying some other alternatives. Visit some new neighborhoods with some friends, attend some events you enjoy, or if you’re too busy for that hire a personalized matchmaking service like Executive Search Dating!
- ‘It’s not us, it’s you’: if you’ve been online dating for a while and had no success, it’s easy to start feeling that there’s something wrong with you or your dating approach. Here’s the good news: that’s not true! More likely, it’s simply a sign that online dating is not for you or, at a minimum, you need to take a break from online dating and try some new methods (see point #3 above). Not all things are meant to be done at the speed of a mouse click, and finding a relationship is one of them.
Stop me if you’ve heard this before: There are no single men in Vancouver. Vancouver women are only interested in money. Vancouverites are unfriendly. The Vancouver dating scene sucks.
Just because everybody says it, doesn’t make it true. After all, it wasn’t that long ago that people said the world was flat – until it wasn’t.
In dating and in life, you reap what you sow. Here’s the truth behind the dating myths, and what it means for you:
- Lies, damn lies, and statistics: when given the choice, always choose statistics over rumors. For example – rumor: there are 5 – 8 single women for every single man in Vancouver; Statistical fact (from Stats Canada): the ratio of single women to single men in Vancouver is virtually equal.
- The money issue: We’ve been matchmaking in Vancouver for over 10 years. Here’s where the issue of ‘wealth’ ranks in a Vancouver woman’s list of most important qualities they’re looking for in a man: it doesn’t. It doesn’t make the top 5, rarely makes the top 10, and usually isn’t brought up at all. Having said that, having your financial life in order is an important element for women and men, particularly if they have their life together.
- Reversing ‘The Vicious Cycle Of Vancouver Dating’: because many singles in Vancouver believe it’s hard to approach new people, people rarely approach one another for fear of being rejected, which makes the situation that much worse. In other words a ‘Vicious Cycle’. Forget what you’ve heard and try this: next time you are out with friends, commit to approaching one new person (or group of people) to say ‘hi’. What you’ll find in most every case is that Vancouverites actually like being approached in a friendly way. Try it yourself and you’ll see.
- Who’s in charge?: at it’s foundation, Vancouver dating myths are based on this false assumption – ‘you have no control over the Vancouver dating scene, it’s a terrible city for dating and that’s that.’ The reality is that YOU have control over your dating life. Be proactive, practice saying hello to strangers (check our ‘dating advice’ page at ExecutiveSearchDating.com for some good ideas on this front), be positive and, if you’re too busy or unable to meet someone new on your own, contact a professional matchmaking service like Executive Search Dating and we’ll introduce you to some incredible, compatible matches that are right for you!
In a perfect world, dating is easy and rejection doesn’t exist. Everyone we meet likes us, and every date is exceptional. But in the real world of dating, rejection not only exists, its an essential element of successful dating.
But how can you turn dating ‘failure’ into dating ‘success’? The key is to learn these 9 things:
- No-one’s perfect, me included: there’s a fine line between self-confidence and arrogance. The former is good, the latter not so much. When someone rejects your advances, take it as a reminder that we can all improve.
- Practice makes perfect: you’re on a date with someone great and everything is going well. Until something happens that turns your date partner off. Make a mental note: whatever that ‘thing’ was, avoid doing it again.
- Continue the journey: the simple fact is that not everyone is made for you, nor you for them. Resist the urge to beat yourself up when a date hasn’t gone well and accept it for what it is: a natural and even healthy part of the journey towards meeting your special someone.
- Check your attitude: if you’ve been dating a lot and have found increasing rejection, it might be time to look in the mirror and make sure you are sending off the right signals on your date. In particular, avoid the ‘vicious cycle of dating’ – you get rejected, which makes you more negative on your next date, increasing the chances of more rejection. If you need to, take a break from dating for a few weeks or a month until you’re feeling more positive before you start dating again.
- When in doubt, ask: although not always appropriate, if you have met someone that you were very keen on and they’ve told you they’re not interested, ask them why? The answers may be helpful, and it might even increase the chances of a friendship developing even where there’s no chemistry.
- Seeing things from the other side: being rejected by someone gives you a valuable insight into how it feels to be rejected. Keep that in mind the next time you’ve met someone who’s keen on you, but you don’t feel the same way. That old saying ‘what goes around comes around’ applies in the dating world too: be honest with someone, but do your best to not hurt their feelings while doing so.
- It’s not you it’s me: one of the hidden advantages of dating is that you learn as much about yourself as you do about the people you’re meeting. Be open to change, particularly if you’re finding a few issues that always come up – ie. if you’ve been going on dates dressed very casually while your dates are showing up dressed to the nines, put more effort into your wardrobe, buy a new shirt, fix the problem. First impressions are important in life, and they’re VERY important in dating!
- True happiness is rarely a straight path: ask any ‘happily married couple’ and they’ll tell you this – all successful relationships have their fair share of ups and downs. The same can be said for dating; when you do eventually meet that special someone (and you will), part of knowing you’ve met ‘the one’ will be the dates you went on which didn’t go well.
- The ‘Kaizen’ dating philosophy: the Japanese philosophy of Kaizen (‘continuous improvement’) can be applied to every aspect of your life, and absolutely applies to dating. Reject the premise that you are supposed to be perfect, or that everyone has to like you. This is a road to frustration and even more dating rejection. Instead, try to be a better date every time you meet someone new – show up on time, be interested and interesting, dress nicely, be funny – and you’ll soon find your ‘below average’ dating life becomes a whole lot better, fast.
A recent survey ranked Vancouver women as the pickiest daters in Canada. In this Global BC interview, Executive Search Dating President Paddi Rice offers his opinion, and gives some simple, common sense tips on how to meet new people in Vancouver!
Watch Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XBV0FPrsIpY