Just because you “#donthave1million”, it doesn’t have to ruin your chances of finding relationship bliss in Vancouver: the key is to date smarter, not harder.
In this week’s Georgia Straight newspaper, Executive Search Dating President Paddi Rice explains the top 5 ways to find your special someone in Vancouver when you “#donthave1million”:
Your perfect match is out there somewhere, but they’re probably not perfect. Then again, unless you’re ‘perfect’ yourself, meeting someone who is won’t necessarily be a perfect match for you.
The key to relationship success is finding someone who’s not perfect, but perfect for YOU. It’s not just about looks and immediate “chemistry”, its also about finding common interests and common ground that are the foundations of long term happiness.
So if you’ve met someone new and you’re wondering about your future relationship prospects together, here’s 4 signs that you’re a perfect match (Source: L. Ryan; T. Goldstein):
- Going places (together): one of the easiest ways to tell if you’re a good match with your partner is to plan a trip together. If one of you wants to hop in an RV and road trip to Mexico, while the other wants to fly first class and stay at a 5 star resort, that’s a sign that you aren’t a good fit. Travelling together (particularly ‘off the beaten track’ travelling) also tests your ability to make decisions together – a vital part of a successful long term relationship.
- Common interests: as simple as it may sound, having some common interests that you love doing together is an important part of being happy together. Also, making an effort to try some new things that your partner likes doing can give you even more reasons to spend quality time together.
- Finding the right balance: matchmakers will tell you that people who share similar attributes are generally more suitable long term relationship partners. ‘Opposites Attract’ can lead to initial sparks, but problems down the road. Having said that, what’s most important is finding someone who compliments you. If you’re the life of the party, perhaps your partner is more grounded. If you’re extremely ambitious, perhaps your partner is more stable and supportive.
- At your best: when you’re with someone who makes you feel good about yourself, your chances of relationship success are enhanced. This allows you to relax, be yourself & comfortable in your own skin. Couples who are constantly searching for things to talk about, or never feel truly ‘comfortable’ in each other’s presence, can struggle to find the deeper kind of connection required for long term chemistry and relationship success.
In dating, as in life, there is such a thing as trying too hard.
Yes, making an effort on your date matters – but when you try to over-complicate things, you can end up being a ‘turn-off’ for your date.
Your best bet is to keep things simple on a first date – here’s 4 questions to make you more likable and, therefore, more successful on your date:
- How’s your day?: everyone likes to talk about themselves, and that means your date does to. Asking easy, open-ended questions gives them the chance to start a conversation about something they feel comfortable about. It also shows that you’re interested in them, which is exactly the image you want to project on a date.
- What do you think?: having a two-way conversation on your date is an essential part of getting to a second and third date and beyond. Instead of just talking about yourself the whole time, find a fun subject that interests you both (movies, music, travel, etc.) and ask their opinion about it. This shows you respect their opinion, and respect is a very sexy quality.
- Why?: asking follow up questions shows you’re date that you are listening to them, and actively interested in getting to know them better. Why do they love travel? Why did they choose their educational or career path? Why did they love that movie? Avoid more personal questions like ‘why are you single’ – there’ll be a time & place to ask that, but a first date is not that time.
- Would you like to catch a movie next week?: the single biggest reason why first dates don’t go anywhere is because one or both people don’t ask for a second date. Don’t be that statistic. If the dates going well (even if it’s just going okay), ask them if they’d like to go on a second date. You’ve got nothing to lose but your single life.