If you’ve heard only one thing about the Vancouver dating scene, its probably this: its hard to meet new people in social situations. Vancouver women are unapproachable, and Vancouver men simply don’t approach at all.

But is this true? Well, if you look unapproachable the answer is yes. But if you look approachable, the answer is no.

So how can you look more approachable and start meeting people when you’re out socially? Start by fixing these 3 common body language mistakes:

1. On a date with my phone:  in today’s smartphone-obsessed world, it’s easy to spend your evenings out messaging friends and checking social media. Here’s the problem with that – it sends the message to that cute guy or girl beside you that you’re not interested and/or not available. If you wanted to spend your evening checking your phone, why did you come out in the first place?
2. You’re protected (from meeting anyone new):  its hard enough to approach someone in a busy social situation, particularly for men (and its typically a man’s role to approach women). But what makes it even harder is when you don’t make yourself available to be approached, or your back is turned to the outside world. If you’re out with a group of friends, and you notice someone interesting – find a chance to break free from the crowd to give someone a chance to say hi. Better yet, approach that person and say ‘hi’ yourself. You’ve nothing to lose but your single life.
3. Not feeling it:  next time you’re out socially, change your default facial expression from a disinterested frown to a positive, pleasant or even neutral expression. Your smile is the world’s most powerful aphrodisiac for meeting someone new. When you’ve noticed someone interesting, make and hold eye contact for a few seconds, then smile. If they reciprocate, find a moment to head over to say hi – or simply give them a quick wave and invite them over. Yes, its that easy. The more complicated your system of meeting new people is, the more likely it will fail. And vice versa.

If you’ve ever thought to yourself “I can tell if someone’s a good fit for me right away!”, you’re wrong.

It’s true, you may or may not feel strong physical chemistry right away, but the REALLY important qualities that make up a great match aren’t always apparent on the surface.

Not everyone is a good first date, but that doesn’t mean they’re not a great match for you. So next time you’re on a date that’s fizzling, try these 3 date-saving strategies – your future relationship success may depend on it:

1. Fake it ’till you make it:  dates tend to go in one direction or another – good dates get better, and bad dates get worse. If you’re on the bad date side of this equation, you need to change the momentum, and fast! Smile, laugh and look like you’re genuinely enjoying yourself – it just might be the positive spark the date needs.
2. Uncover their passion(s):  when a dates not going well, it often comes down to boring or stale conversation – with both parties talking about things that interest them, but not the other person.  To avoid this vicious cycle ask your date the following question: “What are you most passionate about?” You’ll be surprised how much more fun someone is when they’re talking about something they love.
3. Change your dating default setting:  sometimes, no matter what you do, a first or second date just fizzles. Instead of giving up on someone, change your dating default setting FROM “I’ll only see someone again if the first or second date is amazing.” TO “I’ll plan on seeing someone a second or third time, unless I see absolutely no chance of even a friendship with them.” Not only will this increase your chances of finding your relationship, you’ll likely end up with some good friendships along the road.

Every successful relationship is successful for the same exact reasons. Does that surprise you?

It’s true. Although every relationship looks entirely different from the outside, the inner workings of lasting relationships are incredibly similar.

So what’s the secret? Actually, there’s 12 of them. And here they are (Source: M. Manson):

1. Be together for the right reasons:  don’t ever be with someone because someone else pressured you to. The only reason you should ever be with the person you’re with is because you simply love being around them. It really is that simple.

2. Have realistic expectations about relationships and romance:  true love is a choice. It’s a constant commitment to a person regardless of the present circumstances. It’s a commitment to a person who you understand isn’t going to always make you happy—nor should they!—and a person who will need to rely on you at times, just as you will rely on them.

3. The most important factor in a relationship is not communication, but respect:  it’s not sexual attraction, looks, shared goals, religion or lack of, nor is it love. There are times when you won’t feel love for your partner. That is the truth. But you never want to lose respect for your partner. Once you lose respect you will never get it back.

4. Talk openly about everything, especially the stuff that hurts:  if something bothers you in the relationship, you must be willing to say it. Saying it builds trust and trust builds intimacy. It may hurt, but you still need to do it. No one else can fix your relationship for you.

5. A healthy relationship means two healthy individuals:  it is up to you to make yourself happy, it is NOT the job of your spouse. Figure out as individuals what makes you happy as an individual, be happy yourself, then you each bring that to the relationship.

6. Give each other space:  be sure you have a life of your own, otherwise it is harder to have a life together.

7. You and your partner will grow and change in unexpected ways; embrace it:  You have to be prepared for the unexpected, and truly ask yourself if you admire this person regardless of the superficial.

8. Get good at fighting:  the relationship is a living, breathing thing. Much like the body and muscles, it cannot get stronger without stress and challenge. You have to fight. You have to hash things out. Obstacles make the marriage.

9. Get good at forgiving:  when you end up being right about something—shut up. You can be right and be quiet at the same time.

10. The little things add up to big things:  if you don’t take the time to meet for lunch, go for a walk or go out to dinner and a movie with some regularity then you basically end up with a roommate. Stay connected.

11. Sex matters… a LOT:  sex is the State of the Union. If the relationship is good, the sex will be good. If its not, make it so.

12. Be practical, and create relationship rules:  You’re sharing a life together and so you need to plan and account for each person’s needs and resources. It may not always be sexy, but it works.

Science tells us this: good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Period.

So what can you do to increase your chances of finding someone special? Start by adopting the right dating habits – here’s 7 small habits that can make a BIG difference in your love life:

1. Say yes:  your love life isn’t going to fix itself. Adopt the habit of saying yes to every social opportunity that comes your way. Your TV shows & laundry can wait, your love life can’t (and shouldn’t).
2.  More give less take:  its easy sometimes to fall into the trap of expecting things to come to you. Don’t. Ask yourself this: ‘what can I do today to make someone feel good.’ You’ll be surprised how good it makes you feel.
3. Focus on the journey not the destination:  worrying about when you’ll meet your perfect match is frustrating. Focus more on each step – start by spending some time each day thinking creatively about how you can meet someone new.
4. Make a list, check it twice:  start making a list of your creative ideas for meeting new people. Don’t worry about how crazy the ideas are, and don’t give up. After a while, you’ll find a few ideas that were staring you in the face the whole time.
5. Be the fisherman, not the fish:  being proactive is the single most important change you can make to your dating approach. Check out some new events & neighborhoods,  ask some friends to introduce you to some of their single friends, hire a matchmaker! You’ve nothing to lose but your single life.
6. Be the person you want to meet:  imagine your perfect match. Now, imagine what kind of person they’d be interested in meeting. Then, be that person. Take up a new activity, focus on your health, do some fun getaways, get happy! In love and in life, likes attract likes.
7. Put on those rose-colored glasses:  complaining about your love life, or Vancouver men/women will not help you find love. Find positive, fun things to talk about once you’ve met someone new. Smile! Laughter is a key to someones heart. Negativity is a lock.