Everyone wants to fall in Love. But what to do if you’re tired of waiting for your Prince or Princess Charming to sweep you off your feet?

A common misconception among singles is that Love simply ‘happens’, like a bolt out of the blue. You simply wait for the right person to come along then – ‘bang!’, chemistry happens and you live happily ever after.

The truth is that you can INCREASE your chances of having someone fall in Love with you – here’s how, in 6 easy steps:

1. The eyes have it:  maintaining eye contact with someone 75% of the time is a sure sign of Love. If you’re glancing around the room and checking out others, you’ll soon watch your romantic evening fizzle.
2. I’m listening:  being a good listener is the key to any good social interaction, and particularly if you’re with someone you care about. Practice ‘active listening’, ask follow up questions and take a genuine interest in what your partner’s saying. If you don’t find them interesting, it might be time for you (and them) to reconsider things.
3. How you make me feel:  making your partner feel special and appreciated is an essential element of a strong Love connection. If spending time with you makes your partner feel like a winner, you’ll likely be spending a lot more time with them in the days and years to come.
4. A simple smile:  the most simple of all gestures – a smile – sends a message of confidence, success, interest and positive charm. Here’s a test: when you’re dreaming of your perfect match, I’ll bet you’re both smiling? Lose the frown and you’ll soon lose your single life too.
5. The touch that says so much:  in Love, words can only get you so far. Touching your partner often increases intimacy and, more than words, shows them exactly how you feel about them.
6. Make an effort:  taking an active interest in your partner’s passions builds trust, and validates that person’s feelings about you. In other words: sharing a passion builds passion.

So you’ve met someone special. Now comes the hard part?

Not exactly. Creating a successful relationship isn’t easy, but that doesn’t mean its complicated either.

The key to successful relationships comes down to two powerful behaviors: learn them, practice them & don’t ever forget them – and your single days will be long gone before you know it:

• Empathy:  at the core of truly connecting with someone is to understand where they’re coming from. Its so powerful in fact, that even if you don’t – saying that you do can help. Communication is the key to any successful relationship – and empathy  is an essential starting point.
• Understanding:  talk is cheap. It really is. Saying you understand where someone’s coming from can help in the short term. But if you’re looking for a lasting (life-long) relationship – short term fixes aren’t the answer. The key to true understanding lies here: be the change you want in your relationship:
  • “It’s so easy to focus on what’s missing in the other person. It’s so easy to go critical. It’s so easy to think that if you were different, my life would be better, rather than sometimes to switch it around and think if I was different, my life would be better. And maybe if I was different with you, you would be different with me.”

Do you ever wonder if you’re in a toxic relationship?

Relationships, even healthy ones, are never ‘perfect’. But a good relationship should make you feel secure, happy, cared for, respected, and free to be yourself.

Toxic relationships, on the other hand, make you feel drained, depleted and sometimes even distraught.

Here’s how to tell if you’re in a toxic relationship. If this sounds like yours, it may be time for a change:

1. All take, no give:  any relationship in which you experience withdrawals of energy without deposits will leave you in the negative.

2. Feeling drained:  if, instead of feeling happy and productive, you’re always mentally, emotionally, and even physically drained, it’s time to re-evaluate.

3. Lack of trust:  a relationship without trust is like a car without gas: You can stay in it all you want, but it won’t go anywhere.

4. Hostile atmosphere:  constant anger is a sure sign of an unhealthy relationship. You should never be around hostility because it makes you feel unsafe.

5. Occupied with imbalance:  a one-sided relationship can never run smoothly.

6. Constant judgment:  in judgmental relationships, criticism is not intended to be helpful but rather to belittle.

7. Persistent unreliability:  mutual reliability is important to building trust and is at the core of any good relationship.

8. Nonstop narcissism:  if the other party’s interest in the relationship is really just a reflection of him or herself, it’s impossible to achieve any kind of balance.

9. Loaded with negative energy:  it’s almost impossible for anything positive to come out of a relationship filled with negativity.

10. Lack of communication:  without communication, there is no relationship. Period.

11. Continuous disrespect:  mutual respect is the first requirement of a good partnership.

12. Mutual avoidance:  if you spend your time avoiding each other, that tells you all you need to know.

13. Insufficient support:  if you cannot turn to each other, is there a reason to be in the relationship?

14. Ceaseless control issues:  if one person is in control, or a constant tug-of-war is going on, you’re probably spending too much energy navigating the relationship.

15. Never-ending drama:  good relationships improve your life; they don’t make it messier.

16. Persistent self-betrayal:  if you find yourself changing your opinions to please someone else, you’re in a damaging relationship.

17. Constant challenges:  all relationships go through challenges, but good relationships work through them.

18. Feelings of unworthiness:  it’s an insidious thing negative relationships do: They leave you feeling you don’t deserve any better.

19. Vibes of entrapment:  is the other person a positive force in your life, or are you there because you don’t see any way out?

20. Always undermining:  if a relationship can’t be reassuring, it’s failing a crucial test.

21. Empty pretense:  smiles don’t always mean everything is OK.

22. Packed with uncertainty:  when nothing is sure, forward movement feels impossible.

23. Brimming with envy:  partners are never equal in all aspects, but that should be a source of strength, not of a source of disruptive envy.

24. Shortage of autonomy:  anyone in any relationship should have the right to say no.

25. Permeates victim-hood:  you can’t move onto the future if you’re tied to someone who’s still stuck in the past.

26. Diminishes your self-worth:  when you’re in a relationship with someone who doesn’t acknowledge your value, it can be hard to see it yourself.

27. Laced with dishonesty:  every lie between partners undercuts a little bit of the relationship.

28. Makes you unhappy:  if someone is constantly making you unhappy, you owe it to yourself to let that person go.

29. Feels uncomfortable:  sometimes your mind needs more time to discover what your heart already knows.

30. Lowers your high standards:  toxic relationships can cause us to slowly begin accepting what was once not acceptable.

31. Senses stagnant:  growth and learning are vital, and you can’t afford to be cut off from them.

32. Cuts corners:  nothing is ever worth cutting corners, or accepting anything that is second rate.

33. Filled with criticism:  a nonstop barrage of criticism never helped anyone improve; it’s not about making things better but boosting the critic’s ego.

34. Brings out the worst:  if you are constantly being your worst, you cannot be your best self.

35. Cannot do anything right:  if you cannot do anything right, maybe the relationship is all wrong.

If you’ve just had a bad date, remember this: good dates are great. But bad dates are more useful.

Everyone wants to meet someone special, and feeling that elusive chemistry with someone new is exciting.

But dating doesn’t always work that way. Sometimes your date falls flat. Here’s 5 lessons you can learn from your failed date, so it doesn’t happen again:

1. The expectations game:  expecting your date to be amazing may be your first mistake. The most amazing dates happen, in fact, when you’re simply looking forward to meeting someone new, not when you’re expecting Prince or Princess Charming to magically appear. Relax.
2. The ‘Ex’ factor:  talking about your ex, or letting your date go on and on about theirs, is a sure-fire chemistry killer. The solution: stop talking about your ex on your dates. And if your date starts talking about theirs, politely change the subject. Fast.
3. Location, location, location:  not every hot spot is a great place for a first or second date – in fact, some are terrible. Try and find a date place with the right balance between ‘cool & fun’ and ‘not too crazy busy/loud/hectic’. If you haven’t found such a place yet, keep looking (or ask a single friend for suggestions).
4. The killer question:  asking someone why they’re single on a date will almost certainly lead to a failed date. How are they supposed to answer? “It’s going great!” or “Its really lousy!” – would either answer make you feel better (besides making them feel awkward)? Stop asking the question – there’ll be a time for all that but a first or second (or third or fourth) date isn’t that time.
5. Mirror, mirror:  at the heart of any improvement in your love life – or life in general – is self-awareness. If you’re not connecting with people, ask yourself why? Maybe its your (shabby) attire; maybe its the bags under your eyes or the fact that you look (and are) unhealthy? In this world of ours, likes attract likes. If you want to meet & connect with someone fabulous – be that person. The only thing you can truly control in life is yourself. Get on it!