When you’re on a first or second date, words matter. They really, really do.
Why? Because the person you’re with doesn’t really know you yet. So saying the wrong thing just might be the end of the line – even if you’re actually a great ‘relationship match’.
How do you avoid this dating disaster? Start by NOT saying these 6 chemistry-killing things on your date:
- The ‘Ex’ factor: talking about your past relationship(s) will almost certainly ensure one thing – you won’t be starting another relationship anytime soon. Stop it.
- Politically incorrect: talking about your political views will likely lead to one of two outcomes – you’ll turn your date off (most likely); or, less likely, you’ll both agree on everything and spend your date talking politics. Now tell me, does that sound sexy to you?
- All job no (love) life: you’ve got a stressful job and you need to talk about it – I get it. but your date likely won’t, nor should they. Chemistry usually happens when you’re smiling, so forget your job stress and lose the frown.
- One more thing: having something (positive) to say on your date is important – but its also possible to talk too much, particularly if you don’t let your date get a word in edge wise. Aim for a 50/50 balance of talking and active listening.
- My God: if religion is an important (or very unimportant) part of your life, you’ll need to discuss that with your future relationship partner. But bringing religion up on a first or second date is not the right approach. There’ll be a time to discuss deeper matters like religion with your partner, but a first or second date is not that time. Get to know each other first.
- Our future together: if your date is going well and you’re REALLY attracted to the person you’re with, its easy to start talking about your future plans together. Hint: don’t. The only future plans you can (and should) talk about is the next date. Talking about where you’ll travel together & how many kids you’ll have is not only presumptuous, its creepy.
Some relationships are built to last. Some are bound to fail. The question is: how do you know?
Long-distance relationships can work. But if you and your partner aren’t on the same page – at least not yet – they can also be doomed.
But how can you tell if your relationship can survive the ‘long-distance test’? Here’s the 7 signs:
- Trust is a must: no matter where they are, you should trust your significant other in order for you to be together. If that’s not (yet) the case, take a step back and communicate openly with each other to understand the reason why.
- The future unknown: healthy communication is essential to making long-distance relationships work, so make sure that you’re at least attempting to form some sort of plan. How often will you see each other, when will you live together, etc.
- No compromise: if you can’t come to an agreement or compromise when it comes to your plans, it could be a danger sign of troubles ahead.
- You’re not being honest: As they say, it’s the best policy. That phrase is especially true in long-distance relationships. Whether it’s your annoyance with your partner missing your calls or your feelings of sadness without them by your side, you should be able to talk it out, discuss, and come close to some sort of healthy conclusion.
- You expect perfection: nobody’s perfect. Your relationship and your partner aren’t exceptions to the rule. In fact, when you’re entering unfamiliar territory, there’s plenty of room for imperfection. Expect a few moments of frustration, annoyance, and confusion during long distance. It’s all part of the learning process.
- You’re just not willing to try: you need to work toward having a very strong, solid base to your relationship when you’re long distance. Be open, honest, and trusting. Take the time to figure out how and when is best to communicate with each other. Work at making each other feel special, even without seeing each other. All the things you work on during a normal relationship will need extra effort for in a long distance relationship.
- You’re not hopeful or positive about being together: if there is no bright side, then it might be time to re-evaluate why exactly you’re doing this in the first place and whether or not your relationship comes from a healthy, positive, and fulfilling place.
You’ve been dating for a while, but now you’ve met someone special & you’re ready to start a relationship together. Fantastic!
Yes, it’s time to celebrate… but its also time for some serious questions.
Which questions? Start with these 5:
- Are you being genuine?: do you feel completely comfortable being yourself with your special someone? Being genuine with your partner is a a must-have, particularly if you’re thinking long term. The same goes for your partner too.
- What’s your definition of a relationship?: do you consider a relationship a stepping stone towards marriage, or the end goal? Is a relationship just a different type of dating – or is it ‘the real thing’? There’s no right or wrong answer – but it is important that you’re both on the same page here.
- What will happen when you don’t see eye-to-eye?: its hard to think about this when you’ve just started seeing someone seriously, but conflict resolution is one of the most important factors in successful (or unsuccessful) relationships. No, you don’t have to agree on everything, but find a way to disagree without being disagreeable.
- What are your core beliefs?: you don’t need to share each and every one of your partners life goals or passions – but you should know what they are and be willing to support them (and they yours). Successful relationships are all about give and take – if you want to get your way all the time, you may find yourself alone for a long, long time.
- Do you like each other?: you love each other – but do you also like each other? No matter how strong your physical chemistry, that will fade over time. What’s left is what really matters – do you like being around each other & do you consider each other your best friends?
Have you ever asked yourself: “Why does my love life suck?”… the answer might be staring right back at you in the mirror.
Dating can be hard, particularly if you’re busy and looking for something real; and don’t want to waste endless hours searching online dating sites.
But here’s the good news: you are in charge of your love life. It may not feel that way, but its true.
How you ask? Simply follow this 5-step formula, and your love life will be back on track before you know it:
- Your most important asset: your health and wellness is the most important thing in your love life (and your life). If you wake up in the morning and feel terrible, your love life will simply not happen. Start taking better care of yourself – take a yoga or dance class, go hiking, hit the gym – it’ll make you feel (and look) great… soon, your love life will too.
- Focus on what you can control: worrying about meeting your special someone won’t by itself make that person appear. But here’s what will – next time you’re out socially, approach someone new and say ‘hello’. It’ll feel awkward at first, but before long it’ll become more natural. Maybe you won’t meet that special person right away, but it’ll make you feel good about yourself – and that’s a great start.
- Lose the attitude: here’s who doesn’t want to hear about your lousy love life – that person sitting right in front of you. If there’s one sure-fire chemistry killer, it’s complaining about your dating life while on a date. Keep it positive. If you don’t feel positive – fake it!
- It doesn’t matter what you do, just do: there’s all kind of ways to meet someone new besides online dating – take a cooking, dance or sailing class, attend an art gallery opening or another cultural event; or try dinner or drinks someplace new with a few friendly friends (single & non-single alike). Find something you like doing & there’s a good chance you’ll meet like-minded people there too.
- Get serious: you wouldn’t buy a house without some professional help would you? Then why not hire a Professional Matchmaking Service (like Executive Search Dating) to help screen & select matches that are right for you. There’s a reason why matchmaking services are thriving these days – they work! Contact us today at firstname.lastname@example.org and we’ll start matching you with fantastic, relationship ready singles right away. You’ve nothing to lose but your single life.