Monthly Archives: April 2019

The 5 Most Important Things To Look For In A Partner

You’ve met someone new and you’re ready to take the next step – a relationship!

But what should you be looking for to tell if they’re truly ‘The One’ for you?

Well, there’s not just one thing. There’s 5 – and here they are:

  1. The same direction in life:  its important that two people have similar goals and trajectories for their lives. When your both heading in the same direction, you’re likely to end up in the same destination – happiness.
  2. Chemistry:  it might go without saying, but chemistry is a key element in successful relationships. It can take time to become evident, especially if you or your date are too nervous in the beginning to be yourselves, but it has to be present (at least a little bit to start). Don’t forget, chemistry that starts small but grows over time lasts for a long, long time.
  3. Looks & similar place in life:  two pillars of a successful match are looks and status (ie. where you are in life). If those two factors align, it’s likely that the rest will, too. Matchmakers often say: “If people like the way the person looks, they will like the person. If you’re relatively the same status, you will be happy.”
  4. Common interests:  maybe you both like cooking and share new recipes with each other. Maybe you enjoy hiking or hate-watching bad movies. Whatever it is that brings you together, there should be something that you both can talk about and partake in. Matchmakers often say: “They have to have enough in common to have a conversation and also to teach each other different things.”
  5. The intangibles:  some of the traits on this list are temporary, and that’s okay. While looks, status, and interests can change, they’re still important catalysts for sparking a connection and bringing people closer together. But even before these things begin to fade, look for someone who demonstrates evergreen qualities like kindness and respect. Matchmakers often say: “You don’t really need perfect teeth and broad shoulders when you’re 70 years old, but you should be looking for someone that genuinely respects you and makes you laugh and is kind. That’s what we find are the most important traits to look for in a match, are really the intangible.”

7 Simple Strategies To Help You Find Love

You’re single & ready to find your relationship – but where to start?

Here’s the truth: where you start doesn’t matter.  Any road will take you there, you just need the right strategy to find your special someone.

Here’s 7 simple strategies to help you find love:

1. THE ‘YOU’LL FIND LOVE WHEN YOU’RE NOT LOOKING’ APPROACH MAY BE WRONG:  that’s like saying, “You’ll find a job when you’re least looking for it,” it’s possible, but rarely happens. Be proactive!

2. GO WHERE PEOPLE LIKE THE SAME THINGS YOU LIKE:  you can skip singles events if you don’t like them, but you have to go where you can meet people. Join social groups or meet-ups; be a worker bee in a cause you believe in; get involved in political parties. At the very least, you’re doing something you like and at the very best, you’ll meet somebody like-minded.

3. DON’T SEEK ROMANCE, SEEK PARTNERSHIP:  romance is for dates, and it’s fun to have on occasion in your marriage, but it’s partnership that will get you through the rough times. Don’t look for someone who sweeps you off your feet. Look for someone who likes give-and-take, who seeks your opinion and considers it, who cares about what you want, too.

4. HAPPY PEOPLE ATTRACT PEOPLE:  maybe the biggest issue in not being able to find love is that you’re not feeling good about yourself. Like yourself and like your life — really work on that. You have to be the person that you’d want to meet. If you’re not a happy, positive, self-confident person, you cut your chances of being in the right space for the right kind of person.

5. INSTANT SEXUAL ATTRACTION OFTEN FADES:  most good love is a slow burn — it takes a while to develop. Attraction is important, but you don’t have to feel it right away since that instant spark is more about lust and less about the stuff of real relationships. Emotion can change and deepen over time so give people a fair shot.

6. BEWARE OF THE ‘OPPOSITES ATTRACT’ THEORY:  opposites attract at first, but they’ll likely face major friction points down the road. Like-minded people actually make for easier and healthy long-term relationships. The more you see eye-to-eye on, the less there is to argue and compromise about.

7. HIRE A PROFESSIONAL:  who says you have to go it alone? If you’re too busy to meet people on your own – or just not meeting the right type of person – consider hiring a professional matchmaker. You’ve nothing to lose but your single life! Contact us today at:  ExecutiveSearchDating.com to learn more.

6 Things You’re Doing That Will Kill Your Relationship

Do you want to find the person of your dreams? Then be the person of their dreams.

Often, the biggest obstacle to relationship bliss is NOT your partner, its you. Maybe its time you take a step back, and get out of the way of your own happiness.

But how you ask? Start by stopping these 6 relationship-killing behaviours:

1. Stop sulking:  repeat after me: Sulking is not communication. Sulking is not communication. Sulking is not communication. Sure, your partner may eventually figure out that you’re pissed off when you cross your arms and pout, but you come across looking like a petulant child. Playing the wounded victim is neither cute or sexy. If you’re upset about something, take a breath and communicate. Here are the steps: Put on your adult pants. Open your mouth. Say something honest in a reasonable tone. Now, listen.

2. Stop trying to change your person:  I know you hate it when they lose their car keys again. While her absent-minded professor act was one of the reasons you initially found her so adorable, it stops being cute when you’re both late for a movie because you’re rifling through the couch cushions. But stop driving yourself crazy thinking that it’s going to change!

Most of the time, what we love about our partner also becomes that thing that also drives us absolutely mental. Take a breath and step back. Rather than wishing things were different, remember that your person wouldn’t be your person without their odd little quirks. And if you start feeling righteous, take a step back and think about all of the stuff that they’re putting up with right now, too.

3. Stop spending so much time together:  I know, I know, falling in love is so romantic! And when you do fall hard, you often want to merge with your new person. But pull back and take a breath. Coming up for air occasionally reminds you that you already have a life and -god forbid – if the relationship ends, you will have a life again. A little distance makes the heart grow fonder and allows you to appreciate your person a bit more. And wouldn’t you know, they’ll likely appreciate you just a bit more too.

4. Don’t sweat the small stuff:  Mom was right: don’t sweat the small stuff. When you freak out every time your partner leaves a dish in the sink, you’re basically sending them a message that being a control freak is more important than their feelings. Everyone in the relationship is trying their best: creating some wiggle room for human difference is part of relationship compromise.

Create boundaries when it’s important (“How about not leaving dishes in the sink for more than four days”), but give your person the benefit of the doubt when you can. A little latitude goes a long way. And when you can let the small stuff go, you’ll have the bandwidth for a meaningful discussion when something that actually is important comes up.

5. Don’t ignore bids for affection:  people communicate their love in different ways. Some buy gifts, others say nice stuff, some like physical affection, other people like doing activities together. It’s important to have these gestures acknowledged. However, it may not always be obvious when your person is reaching out for your attention. For example, they may say, “Wow, look at that bird over there,” and secretly mean, “I really want to share a moment with you so I’m finding something to connect with you about.” Even if you think it’s a dumb bird, respond to their intention rather than the content. Remember to appreciate all the small moments of connection that you have.

6. Love the one you’re with:  your presence and attention is the most powerful gift that you can give someone. If you’re hanging out with your honey and are constantly checking your texts and insta-feeds, you’re waving a huge red flag that says, “You’re not important to me.” Put your phone down (hey, turn it off) and have some real time with another human.

While being alert for these relationship buzz kills doesn’t guarantee that you’ll live happily ever after, it will certainly give you a better shot. By being on the lookout for bad behaviour, you will proactively derail those insidious bad habits that can so frequently undercut a good relationship. And in the process, you’ll get to know yourself better too.