Monthly Archives: September 2019

5 Facts About “Chemistry” That You’ll Never Guess

Dating – it is sometimes said – comes down to one thing: “Chemistry”.

Do you feel it, do they have it, what creates it, will I ever find it?

Although chemistry sometimes feels like magic, it’s actually far more basic than that – a connection you feel with someone that goes beyond the physical.

Here are 5 facts you need to know about dating chemistry:

  1. Oh yes you can:  you can’t change the way you look, but you can change they way you act on a date. By creating more positive dating habits, you’ll make a better impression on your date, and increase the chances of a real connection even if there’s no immediate ‘wow’.
  2. Two kinds of chemistry:  short term and long term chemistry aren’t always the same – the short term kind works well for while (ie. extreme physical attraction), but the long term kind (which can grow over time) is more important in lasting relationships.
  3. You need it, eventually:  successful relationships need chemistry, but it doesn’t have to happen right away, and it doesn’t have to be ‘knock you off your chair’ chemistry (which can fade quickly anyway). If you’ve met someone interesting, give it enough time (ie. more than one date) to see if chemistry will develop .
  4. What’s inside matters:  if you find yourself growing more attracted to someone over time, its unlikely that you are just finding them better looking (although that’s what it feels like); you’re likely connecting at a deeper level which makes the person seem more ‘attractive’ to you.
  5. Not all connections need to be ‘the one’:  of course meeting someone special is the ultimate goal for most singles, but that’s not to say it’s the only desirable outcome from dating. If you do meet someone great, but just don’t feel that special ‘spark’, then consider friendship as a possible option. Although there may only be room for one ‘special someone’ in your life, you can never have enough friends.

4 Simple Questions The Most Likable People Ask On A Date

In dating, as in life, there is such a thing as trying too hard.

Yes, making an effort on your date matters – but when you try to over-complicate things, you can end up being a ‘turn-off’ for your date.

Your best bet is to keep things simple on a first date – here’s 4 questions to make you more likable and, therefore, more successful on your date:

  1. How’s your day?:  everyone likes to talk about themselves, and that means your date does to. Asking easy, open-ended questions gives them the chance to start a conversation about something they feel comfortable about. It also shows that you’re interested in them, which is exactly the image you want to project on a date.
  2. What do you think?:  having a two-way conversation on your date is an essential part of getting to a second and third date and beyond. Instead of just talking about yourself the whole time, find a fun subject that interests you both (movies, music, travel, etc.) and ask their opinion about it. This shows you respect their opinion, and respect is a very sexy quality.
  3. Why?:  asking follow up questions shows you’re date that you are listening to them, and actively interested in getting to know them better. Why do they love travel? Why did they choose their educational or career path? Why did they love that movie? Avoid more personal questions like ‘why are you single’ – there’ll be a time & place to ask that, but a first date is not that time.
  4. Would you like to catch a movie next week?:  the single biggest reason why first dates don’t go anywhere is because one or both people don’t ask for a second date. Don’t be that statistic. If the dates going well (even if it’s just going okay), ask them if they’d like to go on a second date. You’ve got nothing to lose but your single life.