Have you been dating for a while but not truly connecting with anyone? Then its time for a different approach. Maybe you’re trying – but here’s where dating is different from other aspects of your life: it’s possible to try too hard. How you ask? Here’s 4 “over the top” dating mistakes – and what to do instead:

1. Checklist dating:  its normal to want to be prepared for your date, but when your date feels like they’re being interviewed it’ll be over before you know it. Put away your checklist and focus on having fun – particularly on a first or second date. There’ll be a time for a more in-depth discussion about your future together, but a first date is not that time.
2. Stress test:  sometimes you want so much for the date to go well that it looks like you’re going to pass out. Dating is like a reverse test – if it looks like you’ve ‘over-prepared’, it won’t go well. Relax and focus on enjoying yourself – if you do, its highly likely your date will too.
3. (over) Dressed for success:  you want to look your best on your date – and showing up looking disheveled is not okay – but you can also overdo it. Showing up in a fancy dress or a designer suit might just make your date feel under-dressed. Aim for a clean, smart-casual look. Save the designer duds for a few dates down the line.
4. The butler did it:  yes, you want to pick a nice meeting place – but aim for someplace a bit less formal and more fun & casual. Showing up at an overly fancy, expensive restaurant will put your date on edge – and make them wonder if they’re dressed appropriately (see point #3 above). In general, you want the true focus to be on you and your date – not your clothes, the restaurant or anything else. Free your mind and the rest will follow.