In the relationship of our dreams, there’s only happy ever afters. In the real world, sadly, that’s not always the case. But does a failed relationship hurt your future chances of finding someone special? No, it doesn’t. In fact, if you take the right steps, it can INCREASE your chances of finding the right match for you next time around. Here’s how:
- Love (and life) is a circle: don’t look at your love life as a straight line from sadness (loneliness) to happiness (marriage bliss). Instead, look at every new relationship as a part of an endless circle, complete with ups and downs along the way. The end of a relationship doesn’t mean the end of the line, just an opportunity to start a new circle. Let yourself be vulnerable, but commit to picking yourself up – ultimately you’re the only one who truly can.
- If you’re not failing, you’re not trying: its easy to see yourself as a failure when bad things happen, particularly a failed relationship. But the truth is, not all relationships are built to last. And just because a relationship doesn’t last forever doesn’t mean that it has no value. Cherish the good times, even if they’re in the past.
- Visualize relationship success: all good things in life and love come from a vision. Imagine what happiness means (and doesn’t mean) to you. As the saying goes: if you don’t know where you’re going, how will you know when you get there?
- Make an action plan: once you’ve thought about what you’re looking for, take some concrete actions towards meeting that person. That doesn’t mean you need to try every dating method out there; your best best is to choose the methods that suit you best and that maximize your chances of success. You want a strategy – and strategy is choice.