If you’re not getting the results you want from dating, it can be easy to think there’s something wrong with you. Maybe you’re just not ‘relationship-potential’?
But what does that even mean? No-one’s perfect, and you’d be surprised how ‘imperfect’ many successful relationships are on the inside.
A first step in finding your relationship, is to recognize the true relationship potential inside you. Here’s how:
- It matters: the fact that you’re stressing about your own relationship-potential, means that a relationship is important to you. Above all else, being ‘relationship-minded’ will eventually lead you to someone who feels the same way.
- Self-awareness: having the ability (and willingness) to look critically at yourself and your habits, and be willing to change when required, is an important part of establishing a long term relationship. No-one’s perfect – including you and your potential relationship partner.
- Dating is trying: yes dating burnout is real, and should be avoided at all cost. But there’s something even worse than dating burnout: not dating at all. If you think your chances of meeting someone aren’t great now, imagine how they’ll be if you’re not making the effort to meet anyone new?
- People matter: even if your dating life is not going great at the moment, there’s likely people (or even one person) in your life that matters a lot to you – family, close friends, work acquaintances, etc. Imagine your life without these people in it? So, in reality, you are good at relationships.
- You care: think of the thing or things you care about in your life (friends, family, pet, activities, travel, socializing, etc.). It doesn’t have to be a long list, but it should be things that make you feel happy. When you’re on a date with someone new, think or even talk about some of these things… it’ll show you care, which will greatly increase the chances of your date caring about you.
- Embrace your (and their) imperfections: it’s unlikely you’ll meet someone perfect, even if you were perfect yourself. More likely: you’ll meet someone who’s also imperfect, maybe in some of the same ways (ie. maybe they think they’re not ‘relationship-potential’ too). Chemistry and connection work in mysterious ways.