You're ready to find a lasting relationship & tired of dating - but how? The key is to change your dating approach from 'checklist dating' to 'values-based dating'. This doesn't mean dating more - in fact it may mean dating less, but smarter. This may sound complicated, but its not. It's easy, and you can start today. Here's how:
- Leave the checklist at home: you probably have a mental list of things you're looking for in someone - and that's normal - but don't take the list with you. There'll be a time to go through your list, but a first or second date isn't that time.
- Beyond the surface: getting to know the real person takes time, and won't always be apparent when you first meet them. Chemistry's a good start, but commit to spending some quality time with someone before deciding if they're the right fit for you.
- The important stuff: looks and personality are important when you first meet someone, but they won't necessarily lead you to a lasting relationship. Being on the same page with someone about important values - health, education, career, relationship goals, plans for a family, world view - can help develop your initial chemistry into something that can last - and even grow - over the long term.
- Communicate, openly: communication is the key to any successful relationship. Once you've moved beyond the initial 'dating' phase with your special someone, talk about the things that matter most to both of you - even (and especially) when you disagree.
- Relationship success is a journey, not a destination: no-one - and no relationship - is perfect. Expecting your partner to be perfect is not only unrealistic, it may be setting your relationship up for failure. Work on staying focused on the present, being ready to forgive or apologize & knowing when to take a break.