In today's "always connected" world, do you ever feel like everything's supposed to happen at the speed of light? Well, when it comes to your love life, nothing could be further from the truth. Truly connecting with someone new takes time - let's call it "the speed of life". How many dates you ask? Here's how many:
- A MINIMUM of 4 dates!
- Not 1 date, or 2 dates, or 3 dates.... 4 dates (minimum). Why you ask? Here's why:
- REASON #1: rarely are people the best or even true version of themselves on a first date. That's not a bad thing, it's quite normal - particularly if you're feeling a bit nervous. In other words, if you end it after a first date, you'll never really know if the person's a good fit for you or not.
- REASON #2: pretty much the only thing you can really tell when you first meet someone is whether you're initially attracted to them, which is important. However, the inner qualities - which are the most important determinants of long term relationship success - can't always be seen on first, second or even third inspection.
- REASON #3: first impressions matter - who are we kidding - but to really know how you feel about someone you need to see them in different venues doing different things together with you. Go for a walk, catch a movie, check out a farmer's market, take a day trip to the sunshine coast. Enjoying real time together is an important factor in relationship success - unless you plan on spending your entire future together sitting in a restaurant, cafe or bar telling funny travel stories.
- REASON #4: drop the disguise - yours and theirs - after a few dates if things are going well & you start feeling comfortable, the real you (and them) will start to leak out. It may even take longer than 4 dates (you can't rush it). If you're enjoying spending time together, and you feel like things are progressing, take as much time as you need. Relationships are the greatest investment you can make in life.