Everyone loves a spirited conversation. Some folks even enjoy a good argument. But if you are dating and looking to meet your special someone, being too open and/or “spirited” on your first date may kill your chances of a second date.

The key on a date is to be yourself, be interested and interesting; but steer clear of subjects that will make your date partner uneasy. Here are some topics to AVOID on a first date:

  1. Past relationships: perhaps the single worst conversation topic on a first date… talking about your ex sends a very clear message to your date partner: ‘you are not over him/her’!
  2. Your desire to have kids (or not): there is a time to discuss your family goals, but a first date is not that time. Save those details for a later date, and don’t forget, meeting someone special can change someones opinion on whether they want to have kids or not.
  3. Your dating “horror stories”: with the advent of online dating, there are more bad dates happening than ever before, and it can seem natural to want to discuss your dating “horror stories” with someone you’ve just met. Here’s the problem with this approach: your date partner will most likely come to the (logical) conclusion that they will soon become part of your dating nightmare, making a second date highly unlikely. Focus on being positive on your dates, and you’ll greatly reduce the chances of having more bad dates.
  4. How much you hate your job: having someone special in your life can be a powerfully positive counter-weight to a stressful or unhappy job situation. However, focusing on your job stress on a first date will send off a negative signal that will greatly reduce your chances of a second date with a possible relationship partner. The lesson: save discussing your job stress for a much later date; let your date partner get to know the positive version of you first, as that will also bring out the best in them. Job stress comes and goes; good relationships are built to last.
  5. How incredible you are: self-confidence is sexy; arrogance is not. Talking too much about your various exploits (your incredible job, car, house, life, etc.) can turn someone off and even make them feel insecure. Listening as much as you talk on a first date is always the best approach.