In a perfect world, people tell you exactly what they think of you. But in the real world of dating, sometimes actions (or non-actions) speak louder than words.
Here are some “unspoken signs” that your date has already formed an opinion about you, and what you can do to fix it:
- Sign #1 – Silence is (not) golden: you may feel like your date is going well, but if your date partner is not talking at all its usually a bad sign.
- The Fix: ideally, you want to listen as much as you speak on a date. If you find yourself doing all the talking, ask your date some fun and easy questions (ie. ‘what was the most fun thing you did over the summer’; ‘what’s your favorite place to travel to and why?’; etc.), then actively listen to their response… being attentive and interested is an alluring quality, and can help relax your date partner.
- Sign #2 – Send in the frowns: if your date looks like he/she is not having a good time, its best to assume they aren’t. Not everyone can or should be smiling the whole date, but frowns or blank/bored stares from your date are a sign that they aren’t enjoying themselves.
- The Fix: preparation is at the heart of good conversation; don’t simply rely on your natural charm, think of a few fun and interesting topics and/or stories to talk about with your date. Focusing more on your date than on yourself is a proven dating success factor.
- Sign #3 – Don’t call me, I’ll call you: if your date doesn’t respond to your post date follow ups, its either one of two things – they are very busy or they aren’t interested in seeing you again.
- The Fix: persistence can be a positive quality, but don’t go overboard. If you have sent your date a follow up note or call and they haven’t responded, a second call or email expressing your interest in seeing them again is appropriate. If they still don’t respond its likely a sign they’re not interested, which is a normal and natural part of the dating process. Stay positive and move along to another match.