If your dating life’s not going well, there can be many reasons. One of them might be you.
No-ones perfect (in life or in love), but there are some simple – and fixable – dating mistakes that may be ruining your chances of finding a lasting relationship.
Before you throw in the towel on finding true love, try fixing these 10 common dating mistakes! (Source: S. Lebowitz, Dr. T. Orbuch, PhD)
- Bad self-care habits: examples include bad breath, body odor, terrible hygiene, and lack of etiquette. They turn people off because they seem simple to attend to or address. It doesn’t take that much effort to have good hygiene. And people infer that the bad self-care habits infer something about the person’s habits in a relationship.
- Criticizing or trying to control the other person: people don’t like being told what to do, particularly at the beginning of a relationship – in general people are attracted to the opposite — positivity, optimism, and giving compliments!
- Emotional neediness: we don’t like constantly having to support someone who’s not available to support us.
- Emotional reactivity: we don’t like walking on eggshells, worried we’re going to accidentally set someone off.
- Poor grammar: surveys suggest grammar is one of the first things people use to judge a potential date. Bad grammar suggests that a potential partner has had less schooling and may not value education.
- Low self-confidence: the same surveys found that people also take into account a potential date’s self-confidence. Those with little self-confidence are likely to be anxious, perhaps even less mentally stable.
- Bad teeth: men and women with bad teeth advertise a poor diet, maybe even poor health.
- Self-absorption: people who think only of themselves and lack interest in other people tend to make poor relationship partners because they don’t care about the other person’s feelings. They’re also inconsiderate and selfish in bed.
- Extreme negativity: especially in the early phases of a relationship, we need to share positive, mutually fulfilling experiences. If one partner makes exclusive use of a relationship as a dumping ground for bad feelings, the other person has little reason to hold on.
- Contempt: research tells us that contempt in a marriage is the biggest predictor of divorce. Contempt is the opposite of kind. Being contemptuous is like pouring acid on love, and kills relationships.