If you think you know what makes chemistry happen on a date, you’re probably wrong. But what’s easier to spot is when chemistry dies.

In spite of what you’ve heard, chemistry isn’t just physical attraction (although that’s important), its also about personality, conversation, body language and energy.

Words can kill chemistry, so here’s two phrases to avoid at all cost on your next date:

  1. What are you looking for?:  it seems like a natural question to ask on a first or second date, right? In fact, its a great question to ask in an interview, but a lousy question to ask on a date. Asking someone this question takes them out of ‘romantic date mode’ and straight into ‘filling in the boxes date mode’. Save this question for (much) later. And besides, maybe they don’t really know what they’re looking for because they hadn’t met you yet?
  2. How’s your dating life going?:  asking someone about their dating experiences (including with online dating or dating services) immediately puts them in a no-win situation.  Do they say ‘it’s going great!’ or ‘it’s going terrible!’ – both answers lead to awkward conversations. And besides, maybe their dating life is about to get a whole lot better because they just met you!