First impressions matter - in dating & in life - whether you like it or not! People generally ask themselves two questions when they meet someone new: "Can I trust this person?" and "Can I respect this person?". But this doesn't have to be a bad thing. It just means you need to MASTER the art of the first impression. How you ask? By doing these 6 simple things:
- Positive body language: becoming cognizant of your gestures, expressions, and tone of voice and making certain they're positive will draw people to you like ants to a picnic. Using an enthusiastic tone, uncrossing your arms, maintaining eye contact, and leaning towards the speaker are all forms of positive body language, which can make all the difference.
- Be the best version of you: make an effort to look your best, and have positive energy. You'll never bore someone into liking you.
- Ask before you tell: ask your date some engaging questions. Trust and warmth are created when people feel understood, and they need to be doing a lot of sharing for that to happen.
- Put away your phone: it's impossible to build trust and monitor your phone at the same time. Nothing turns people off like a mid-conversation text message or even a quick glance at your phone. When you commit to a conversation, focus all your energy on the conversation. You will find that conversations are more enjoyable and effective when you immerse yourself in them.
- Start well: in dating, all's well that starts well. Be prepared with some fun conversational topics & avoid awkward silences at the start of your date.
- Active listening: active listening means concentrating on what the other person is saying, rather than planning what you're going to say next. Asking insightful questions is a great way to illustrate that you're really paying attention. If you're not checking for understanding or asking a probing question, you shouldn't be talking. Not only does thinking about what you're going to say next take your attention away from the speaker, hijacking the conversation shows that you think you have something more important to say. This means that you shouldn't jump in with solutions to the speaker's problems. It's human nature to want to help people, but what a lot of us don't realize is that when we jump in with advice or a solution, we're shutting the other person down and destroying trust. It's essentially a more socially acceptable way of saying, "Okay, I've got it. You can stop now!" The effect is the same.