Monthly Archives: May 2011

How To Beat The Fear Of Dating

Dating can be scary, particularly with the advent of “new” ways of meeting people (ie. online dating), which are really just like old ways of meeting people without the benefit of screening!  Here are some tried and true methods to make dating less scary AND more effective:
  1. Keep it casual: don’t make dinner or weekend plans for a first date… a casual drink after work or a weekend brunch is a more relaxed and less stressful venue to meet someone new.  Once you have connected you can always make dinner plans for your second or third date.
  2. One step at a time: try to avoid thinking too much about the long term implications of a successful first date… the truth is, you likely won’t know on a first date if someone is your perfect match or not.  Look at a first date simply as a chance to meet someone new and interesting… if the chemistry is there, it will be there regardless.  Focusing on having fun on your date will only increase the chances of chemistry being there.
  3. Broadening your circle: looking at dating as a means to widen your social circle, in addition to finding your perfect match, can help take the pressure off a first date and keep you open to making a new friends on those occasions when the chemistry isn’t there.
  4. Be safe if dating online: if you choose to go the online dating route, be sure to follow the generally accepted safety procedures when meeting someone online… ie. meeting in public places during daylight hours, not sharing too much personally identifying information, etc., etc.
  5. Hire a professional: if you don’t have a lot of time to waste on bad dates, and if you are particularly focused on meeting qualified matches, then join a service that screens the matches for you in person.  Professional matchmakers have been around forever for a reason… they work.

7 Things Singles Should Never Do

Being single isn’t always easy.  But it doesn’t have to be hard.  In fact, when dating is fun you get better results and INCREASE the chances of meeting someone special.
  
Here are 7 things singles should never do:
  1. Sit back and wait: waiting for Mr. or Ms. Right to come to you rarely works.  Be proactive in your dating life; trying new places, new ideas and new dating options will only increase your chances of meeting someone special.
  2. Mega-date: in the online dating and bar scene worlds, you often have to go on many bad dates to get one good one.  This can make ‘mega-dating’ seem like a reasonable option.  It isn’t.  A key to successful dating is to be positive and excited to meet someone new, which is hard to do when you are going on too many bad dates.
  3. Bring a checklist:  it’s okay to have a checklist of qualities you are looking for in a relationship partner, but leave it at home before your date.  The main purpose of a first date is to see if you have chemistry with someone.  Once you connect with someone you may even find that your checklist changes.
  4. Interview your date:  dates should not feel like job interviews. Focus on having fun on your date and you’ll greatly increase the chances of a positive impression, and a positive connection.
  5. Talk about your ex:  there is a time to talk about past relationships, but a first or second date is NOT that time!  Talking about an ex sends a message to your date that you are not truly ‘relationship ready’.
  6. Talk about your other dates:  even worse than talking about your ex on a date, is to talk about other bad dating experiences that you have had.  A sure-fire first date killer!
  7. Be negative: everyone wants to be around positive people… focus on positive, fun topics on your date (fun travel stories, plans for the summer, your thoughts on an appropriate Stanley Cup parade route for the Vancouver Canucks, etc.).  This will make your date partner relax and have fun as well, which will maximize the chances of getting to a second date.

How To Impress Your Date In 10 Seconds

“You never get a second chance to make a good first impression”… so the expression goes.  This is true in life, and in dating… here are some quick and easy ways to make a GREAT first impression on a first date:

  1. Dress for success: taking the time to dress nicely for your date is the first and most important element of a successful first date impression.
  2. Be on time: the most basic of all courtesies is to show your enthusiasm by being on time, or even a few minutes early for your date.  Good manners are a turn on for both sexes.
  3. Don’t worry, be happy: a wide smile and a warm and confident greeting sends a positive message that you are truly excited to meet someone.  Be it a hand shake or hug, make it firm but not crushing.
  4. The power of a sincere compliment: everyone wants to feel good about themselves.  Giving someone a sincere compliment (on how nice they look, or on a particularly appealing fashion accessory, etc.) is bound to make someone look more favorably upon you.