Monthly Archives: July 2015

The Worst Online Dating Advice In The History Of The World

Dating services, including online dating services, have become the most popular way for singles to meet in Vancouver. That’s a good thing.

Here’s the problem: some dating services, in particular online dating services, only succeed when singles continue to use their service – in other words, if everyone found their ‘match’ right away they’d have very few active members, making it hard for you to meet someone compatible on their site.

With that in mind, here’s some online dating advice you should IGNORE if you’re interested in finding a relationship, not just endless dating:

  1. ‘Dating is a numbers game’:  actually, no its not – unless you’re talking about the number 1, which is the number of people that you will ultimately truly connect with. The thought that meeting 20 or 30 singles will increase your chances of meeting ‘The One’ is incorrect. More likely, going on 20 to 30 dates will make you feel frustrated and give up on dating which won’t help you find your special someone.
  2. ‘Now that you’ve met someone interesting, here’s 5 other profiles for you’:  once you’ve met someone that you’re interested in (and they you), your best best is to take some time to get to know them before going on a bunch of other dates. If you’re online dating, avoid the daily barrage of supposed ‘matches’. You’re better off with one real match, than 10 online profiles.
  3. ‘We’re sorry to see you go; here’s a half price offer’:  instead of endlessly renewing your online dating membership (or more likely, being ‘auto-renewed’), consider trying some other alternatives. Visit some new neighborhoods with some friends, attend some events you enjoy, or if you’re too busy for that hire a personalized matchmaking service like Executive Search Dating!
  4. ‘It’s not us, it’s you’:  if you’ve been online dating for a while and had no success, it’s easy to start feeling that there’s something wrong with you or your dating approach. Here’s the good news: that’s not true! More likely, it’s simply a sign that online dating is not for you or, at a minimum, you need to take a break from online dating and try some new methods (see point #3 above). Not all things are meant to be done at the speed of a mouse click, and finding a relationship is one of them.

10 Can’t-Miss Vancouver Summer Date Ideas

When it comes to your dating success this summer, remember this: your chances of getting to a second date INCREASE when both date partners feel they got to know each other on their first date.

So ditch your same old dating routines – this summer, let Mother Nature be YOUR Matchmaker! Here’s how, as we tell today’s Georgia Straight:

10 Can’t Miss Vancouver Summer Date Ideas

3 Things Singles Want More Than Sex

In today’s new world of dating apps, it seems like everyone’s just looking for a quick hook-up. As meeting singles online has become easier (ie. swiping on photos vs. reading online profiles), today’s dating apps are less about “love connections”, and more about “looks connections”.

But what if you’re looking for more than just casual sex? Well, there’s good news: relationship-minded singles AREN’T just looking for sex. They’re looking for more.

If you want to avoid an endless cycle of casual hook-ups, start focusing more on the things that are REALLY important – here’s 3 of them:

  1. Long-term happiness:  sex is an important element in successful relationships, but if your connection is purely physical it will likely fade over time. If you’re looking for a lasting relationship, make an effort to get to know the ‘real person’. At their core, great relationships are great friendships.
  2. To feel like a winner:  everyone wants to feel like a winner. If spending time with someone makes you feel good – beyond just sex – you’re far more likely to develop a real & lasting connection. If you find yourself waking up the next day feeling blue, it might be a sign your casual hook-up is not built to last.
  3. Deeper connection:  physical chemistry, no matter how strong initially, can fade over time unless there’s other things to connect you. Sharing important values, views on life & family, and future goals are an important aspect in long-term relationship success. Added bonus: as your connection gets deeper, the sex gets better too!

4 Tough Things You Have To Do To Win At Love

A common misconception about happy couples is that they were simply made for each other. In other words, they met, magic happened and life has been a bed of roses since then.

What we sometimes forget is this: successful relationships work because both parties MAKE them work. Physical chemistry, laughter and common interests are a great (and important) starting point, but to stay together long-term you need more than that.

Here are 4 things you’ll need to work on once you’ve met your special someone:

  1. Communicate openly:  nothing is more important in successful relationships than communication. Knowing how to listen, sharing your thoughts openly, and being clear calm, honest and direct – even when there are things that are hard to hear.
  2. Make your relationship a priority:  Do the things you used to do when you were first dating: show appreciation, compliment each other, contact each other through the day, and show interest in each other. Plan date nights. Schedule time together on the calendar just as you would any other important event in your life. Respect one another. Say “thank you,” and “I appreciate…” It lets your partner know that they matter.
  3. Conflict Resolution:  occasional conflict is a part of life and of relationships – learning how to resolve them in a civil and mutually respectful manner is whats most important. Conflict-resolution skills include techniques such as staying focused on the topic, staying focused on the present, being ready to forgive or apologize, and knowing when to take a break.
  4. Self awareness:  being aware of your emotions positive and negative, without censoring or squelching them. Be able to name your feelings, and understand their nuanced and shifting mixture. Observe your emotional state without judgment or rationalization.

7 Habits Of Highly Successful Singles

How can you have success in dating, and meet your special someone? It’s a question that’s stumped singles for years, in Vancouver and elsewhere.

Surprisingly, the answer is not complicated. It starts with adopting the right ‘dating habits’, habits that successful singles have used for years to find lasting relationships.

Based on our 10+ years of professional matchmaking experience in Vancouver, here are the 7 habits of highly successful singles:

1. Open-Minded & non-judgmental:

a. Don’t judge someone based on physical characteristics.

b. Sees the inner qualities of someone.

c. Open to meeting new people.

2. Positive & don’t take things personally:

a. Warm, friendly, gregarious & light hearted approach.

b. Positive view on life & happy with themselves.

c. Focus on positive topics (ie. hobbies, interests, etc.).

d. Avoid negative topics (ie. ex-relationships, life issues, their dating service experience, etc.).

e. Don’t take it personally, even when a date doesn’t go well.

3. Interested & interesting:

a. Genuinely interested in other people.

b. Are good listeners.

c. Are interesting people with interests outside of work and dating.

d. Can discuss a wide range of topics.

4. Good communicators:

a. Are caring, respectful, thoughtful and understanding.

b. High energy & passionate about life.

5. Patient & Persistent:

a. Stick with it & don’t lose hope even when things aren’t going well.

b. Take breaks from dating when needed.

6. Reflect on what is and isn’t working:

a. Are self aware and thoughtful about their dating approach.

b. Carefully consider which dating methods or matchmaking services are best for them.

7. Relationship minded:

a. Are serious about finding someone – relationship ready.

b. Approach their dates with a ‘2nd date mindset’.

7 Vancouver Dating Myths Exposed

We’ve all heard it: you can’t meet new people in Vancouver. Vancouverites are unfriendly. There are 10 women to every man. There are 5 men to every woman. Etc. Etc.

Yes, you’ve heard these supposed ‘Vancouver dating facts’. But are they ‘facts’ or ‘myths’? The answers may surprise you:

Myth #1: Vancouver is not a good city for dating – actually, Vancouver has one of the most active and progressive dating cultures of any city in North America. True, much of that is online dating, but there are many other (better) options out there for singles.

Myth #2: Vancouver single men do not exist – they do exist and, in fact, many single men in Vancouver complain that there aren’t enough single women!

Myth #3: Vancouver single women are unapproachable – not true. Most single women in Vancouver complain they are rarely, if ever, approached.

Myth #4: The ratio of single women to single men is WAY out of balance in Vancouver! Also, not true. Although there may be more women or men at a particular event (ie. more women at a wine tasting; more men at a sporting event; etc.), overall statistics show a relatively equal number of single men and women in Vancouver.

Myth #5: Vancouver men are not interested in long term relationships – not true. Although it can take men longer to feel ‘relationship ready’ than women, eventually most if not all men do get there.

Myth #6: Vancouver women are mostly interested in a man’s income – not true. In fact, after arranging thousands of successful matches in Vancouver, we have found that a man’s income level is rarely a top match criteria for Vancouver women.

Myth #7: It’s impossible to meet new people in Vancouver – not true. Although Vancouver has the reputation as a hard city to meet new people, you rarely hear from someone who actually tried to approach someone new and was treated poorly.