Are you ready to find your relationship, but not meeting the right type of person?
Maybe the problem isn’t your date – its the mistakes you made before your date even began. But its not too late.
Fix these 7 common dating mistakes, and get your love life back on track today:
- Avoid the chemistry trap: yes, everyone wants chemistry – but its not the most important part of true ‘relationship match’. Sometimes the person you have intense chemistry with is not the right person for you. Look deeper.
- Commit: in today’s dating app world, your next match is just a swipe away (or more likely, 1,000 swipes). The reality is your best bet is sitting right in front of you. Put your phone down and focus.
- Looking for someone to ‘complete’ you: expecting your partner to provide burning romance for ever more is an unrealistic expectation. The only one who can complete you, is you. Find someone who feels the same way about themselves, and now you’re getting somewhere (good).
- The past is gone: as time moves on from your past relationships, its easy to look back on them with rose-colored glasses – making your current connection seem less than perfect. Stop it. If your last relationship was so perfect, you’d still be together.
- The waiting game: waiting for that one person you’ve been obsessing over to come your way can be an exercise in frustration. Your best bet? Move on – if they’re truly interested, nothing will get their attention more quickly.
- Words matter. Actions matter more: its easy to fall for someone initially when your love is new & time seems to fly by. But if you’re finding, over time, that all the flowery words aren’t leading you anywhere (like that weekend getaway that never happens) – consider it a red flag.
- Mix it up: Albert Einstein said it best – ‘the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result.’ If you’ve been dating the same type of person without success, take a walk outside your comfort zone & take a chance on someone unexpected. Your love life will thank you.
You may hate first dates – or you may enjoy them.
But here’s one thing for sure: how your first date goes will DRAMATICALLY impact your chances of finding someone special.
This may sound stressful, but its not – it’s simple, and it begins with these 3 dating steps:
- Focus on the things you can control: chemistry is a mysterious force – sometimes its there & sometimes its not. Worrying about it won’t help; in fact, it might make it worse. Focus instead on being the best version of yourself; let Mother Nature do the rest.
- Mindset change: instead of thinking of your date as a potentially life-altering moment in your life, just look at it like a fun chance to meet someone new. Doing this will make you FEEL less nervous, and LOOK more confident – both of which will INCREASE your chances of making a good first impression.
- Be the virtuous cycle: make every effort to enjoy your date – in particular, make sure your date enjoys themselves. This will make you feel good & increase the chances of a 2nd date (which should ALWAYS ask for). This will make you feel better & more confident on your next date, which will increase your success chances even more. Next step: repeat.
Sometimes, finding your special someone feels like pure chance: a one-in-a-million lucky shot.
But what if I told you that the key to finding your relationship is almost entirely in YOUR hands?
Well its true. Here’s 5 things you can do today to increase your relationship chances:
- Your sofa is your enemy: we all like the odd night at home watching Neflix – but if you’re single and looking to meet someone, its highly unlikely you’ll meet them there. Get up, get out, get on with your life.
- Beware the self-fulfilling prophecy: if you’re feeling negative about your love life – and even start complaining about it on your dates, its about to get a lot worse. Act as though your love life is about to get a whole lot better, smile and be positive, and just watch the trans-formative effect it’ll have on the people you meet.
- Take care of yourself – really: the single most important factor in your future success (in your love life, or anything else) is how you feel when you get up in the morning. If you feel good, life will work out great for you. And the reverse if you wake up feeling lousy most days. Get in shape, clean up your diet, learn some simple ways to feel better & healthier. Your future love life will thank you for it.
- Less you, more them: I get it, when you’re love life is stuck in reverse its hard not to make it all about you. But here’s the thing: everyone wants to talk about themselves – give your dates that opportunity and you’ll soon find your love life going in the right direction again.
- Find something you love, then do it: going to bars or online dating may not be your thing, and its not the best way to meet your perfect person anyway. Here’s a better approach – find something you enjoy (sailing, hiking, cooking, dancing, etc.), then find a group or class or event where you’ll meet other folks who feel the same way. When you start with something in common, you’ll find the rest a lot easier.
Have you been dating for a while but not truly connecting with anyone? Then its time for a different approach.
Maybe you’re trying – but here’s where dating is different from other aspects of your life: it’s possible to try too hard.
How you ask? Here’s 4 “over the top” dating mistakes – and what to do instead:
- Checklist dating: its normal to want to be prepared for your date, but when your date feels like they’re being interviewed it’ll be over before you know it. Put away your checklist and focus on having fun – particularly on a first or second date. There’ll be a time for a more in-depth discussion about your future together, but a first date is not that time.
- Stress test: sometimes you want so much for the date to go well that it looks like you’re going to pass out. Dating is like a reverse test – if it looks like you’ve ‘over-prepared’, it won’t go well. Relax and focus on enjoying yourself – if you do, its highly likely your date will too.
- (over) Dressed for success: you want to look your best on your date – and showing up looking disheveled is not okay – but you can also overdo it. Showing up in a fancy dress or a designer suit might just make your date feel under-dressed. Aim for a clean, smart-casual look. Save the designer duds for a few dates down the line.
- The butler did it: yes, you want to pick a nice meeting place – but aim for someplace a bit less formal and more fun & casual. Showing up at an overly fancy, expensive restaurant will put your date on edge – and make them wonder if they’re dressed appropriately (see point #3 above). In general, you want the true focus to be on you and your date – not your clothes, the restaurant or anything else. Free your mind and the rest will follow.