“You never get a second chance to make a good first impression”… so the expression goes.
This is true in life, and in dating… here are some quick and easy ways to make a GREAT first impression on your date:
- Dress for success: taking the time to dress nicely for your date is the first and most important element of a successful first date impression.
- Be on time: the most basic of all courtesies is to show your enthusiasm by being on time, or even a few minutes early for your date. Good manners are a turn on for both sexes.
- Don’t worry, be happy: a wide smile and a warm and confident greeting sends a positive message that you are truly excited to meet someone. Be it a hand shake or hug, make it firm but not crushing.
- The power of a sincere compliment: everyone wants to feel good about themselves. Giving someone a sincere compliment (on how nice they look, or on a particularly appealing fashion accessory, etc.) is bound to make someone look more favorably upon you.
It could be said there are 3 types of lies – lies, damn lies and dating lies. Half-truths, non-truths, supposed truths; all are a regular feature in the world of dating.
Successful dating starts with separating dating fact vs. dating fiction. Here are some classic ‘dating lies’ and tips on how you can spot them, and overcome them:
- The Internet has made it easier to meet your special someone: online dating and other modern ‘dating innovations’ can in some cases make it easier to meet people, but the lack of screening can make it challenging to meet someone truly compatible with you. Focus on meeting relationship-minded matches that have your basic criteria and you’ll get better dating results.
- All the good single people have been taken: in fact, the number of single people has stayed relatively consistent over the years or, in some cases, even increased. However busy singles tend to steer clear of singles bars and often don’t have the time or energy for online dating. Mixing up your approach is a good way to overcome this – ie. if you are looking to meet other single professionals, head out for drinks after work at a popular downtown drinks spot on a weeknight and you’ll find a very different selection of singles than you might otherwise find at a bar on the weekend.
- The male to female ratio in Vancouver & Victoria is ‘way out of whack’: again, the truth is that the number of single women and men in the city is roughly equal and has always been so – if you don’t agree then go to a popular sports lounge on a hockey night (where you’ll find mostly men) or a wine tasting event (where you’ll find many women). Be creative in your search and attend some events that move you out of your comfort zone (an art exhibit, a poetry recital, a karaoke lounge, etc.), and you’ll increase the chances of meeting someone new.
- Chemistry has to be incredible on a first date or its not worth pursuing a second date: actually, true chemistry can’t always be determined on a first meeting. Look at a first date simply as a chance to meet someone new and, unless you are absolutely certain that you’re not interested in them, arrange to meet someone in a relaxed setting for a second or third date. Giving each date your full consideration will increase your chances of finding true long term chemistry with someone when you do connect.
Are you single and ready for a relationship? Well, there’s great news: Spring has arrived!
Dating Experts consider Spring “The Matchmaking Season” for good reason: its the time of year when most relationships begin.
Why you ask? For these 5 (surprising) reasons:
- Are you positive? as simple as it may seem, people are just feeling more ‘sunny’ in Spring. If you thought that doesn’t matter, consider this: your chances of connecting with someone new are far higher when you (both) have a positive attitude.
- Lose the layers: let’s be honest for a minute – chemistry matters, in dating and in life. And its hard to feel attractive when you’re in a parka – and when you’re not feeling attractive you’re much less likely to approach someone new (or be approached). As the temperature warms up, show ’em what you’ve got.
- Time is on your side: with the Spring time change, evenings are longer, which simply gives you more time to spend with someone. The winter “Netflix and chill” date option only really applies once you’ve started seeing someone – proposing it on a first or second date will almost surely keep you single for a while longer.
- Activity weather: BC singles are notoriously addicted to outdoor activities. But its hard to get excited about a hike or bike when its freezing outside. With the warmer temps its time to activate your most powerful date option – an outdoor activity. Just do it.
- Patio fever: if you’re more inclined towards a ‘sit down’ date, Spring has that covered for you as well. Restaurant and bar patios across the city start opening up again. If you don’t think it makes a difference, try patio drinks for your next date. Your love life with thank you for it.
If you’ve heard only one thing about the Vancouver dating scene, its probably this: its hard to meet new people in social situations. Vancouver women are unapproachable, and Vancouver men simply don’t approach at all.
But is this true? Well, if you look unapproachable the answer is yes. But if you look approachable, the answer is no.
So how can you look more approachable and start meeting people when you’re out socially? Start by fixing these 3 common body language mistakes:
- On a date with my phone: in today’s smartphone-obsessed world, it’s easy to spend your evenings out messaging friends and checking social media. Here’s the problem with that – it sends the message to that cute guy or girl beside you that you’re not interested and/or not available. If you wanted to spend your evening checking your phone, why did you come out in the first place?
- You’re protected (from meeting anyone new): its hard enough to approach someone in a busy social situation, particularly for men (and its typically a man’s role to approach women). But what makes it even harder is when you don’t make yourself available to be approached, or your back is turned to the outside world. If you’re out with a group of friends, and you notice someone interesting – find a chance to break free from the crowd to give someone a chance to say hi. Better yet, approach that person and say ‘hi’ yourself. You’ve nothing to lose but your single life.
- Not feeling it: next time you’re out socially, change your default facial expression from a disinterested frown to a positive, pleasant or even neutral expression. Your smile is the world’s most powerful aphrodisiac for meeting someone new. When you’ve noticed someone interesting, make and hold eye contact for a few seconds, then smile. If they reciprocate, find a moment to head over to say hi – or simply give them a quick wave and invite them over. Yes, its that easy. The more complicated your system of meeting new people is, the more likely it will fail. And vice versa.
If you’re single & ready for a relationship, dating can be frustrating. But it doesn’t have to be hard.
In fact, if your dates feel like “work” – or if dating itself feels like a “second job” – it’s probably not going to work out well for you.
So how do you change your dating approach & INCREASE your relationship chances? Start by stopping these 4 toxic dating habits:
- Turn off the volume: if you’ve been using (multiple) dating apps, you’ve probably encountered one of two (equally frustrating) scenarios, A. You swipe & click for hours but don’t end up meeting or truly connecting with anyone; or, B. You’re inundated with messages (some polite, some not so much) from people you’re not interested in. In either case, the solution isn’t to ‘dig in’, its to ‘dig out’. Put away your dating apps for a while & try some other dating methods.
- Me, Me, Me?: its natural to think the key to finding someone special is to focus on what YOU’RE looking for, right? Wrong! Start focusing on the person across from you – or across the room from you – you’ll be surprised what you mind find out about them & you, and maybe both of you together.
- Quest for perfection?: its easy to write exactly what you’re looking for on a dating profile or piece of paper. Where it all falls apart, however, is the real world. Its natural to have some basic ‘deal breakers’, but avoid making your list so long that nobody makes the grade (maybe even not you?). Focus on truly getting to know someone below the superficial – that’s where true chemistry happens.
- The 10 second rule?: can you know if someone’s perfect for you within 10 seconds of meeting them? Not really. Yes, its true you can tell if you’re physically attracted to someone right away – but you likely can’t tell if they’re truly ‘the one’. Why? Because – yes – physical chemistry is important, but connecting with someone at a deeper level is a more important indicator of long term relationship potential. Throw out the “10 second rule”, and replace it with the “10 date rule” (or at least the “3 date rule”)!