Sometimes, the truth hurts. Realizing that your current dating approach isn’t working, is one of those times.

Trying the same unsuccessful dating methods over and over again and expecting a different result, is a recipe for dating frustration and, ultimately, dating failure.

But here’s the good news: finding your relationship isn’t impossible, or even unlikely – the key is to face up to your dating reality. Start by asking yourself these 3 tough questions.

  1. Are you happy?:  I know, this sounds backwards. You’ll be happy once you’ve met the right person, correct? Wrong.  Success in dating, and in life, starts with being happy with yourself. No-one can make you happy if you aren’t already heading in that direction. Make some new friends, take a cooking class, try yoga… commit to happiness and happiness will find you.
  2. Are you trying too hard?:  Dating is different than your career in the following way – more effort will not necessarily lead to a better outcome. Sometimes dating too much (particularly with online dating apps) can be as bad (or worse) than not dating enough. Focus less on the number of dates you are going on, and more on the quality of people you are spending time with. A fun night with a fantastic (non-romantic) partner, can be far more enjoyable than a meaningless date with someone who doesn’t stimulate you in any way.
  3. Are you truly relationship ready?:  If you answer ‘absolutely’, ask yourself the following – do you often find you’re ‘too busy to date’? Do you find that no-one seems to satisfy your dating criteria? Do you find it hard to focus on your dates? – if you’ve answered yes to any or all of these questions, then its time to re-focus. Make meeting someone special your top priority – if you don’t have time to do that, hire a matchmaker. Success in life only comes when you focus. Period.