So you’ve met someone new, and things are going well – great! Now comes the tricky part: how to know if you’re with the right person for the long term? You may think you know right away – particularly if you’ve got great chemistry together. But the truth is chemistry alone isn’t enough, and can even fade over time if you’re not connected in other, more important ways. So whether you’re entering a new relationship, or hitting a significant milestone – look for these 4 signs of a relationship built to last (Source: E. Schoenfeld, Ph.D):
- They’re attentive: small, daily gestures of romance are an important part of a supportive relationship, especially when they align with your personal needs. If you’re feeling under the weather, for example, you’ll appreciate your partner more if he or she makes you soup rather than brings home concert tickets.
- They’re affectionate: whether it’s hugging, kissing, or cuddling before bed, regularly engaging in some form of physical affection is key to feeling connected to your partner. We all tend to feel more cared for and understood when their partners show physical affection - and being affectionate is good for our personal and mental health, too.
- They respond well to conflict: how you communicate in the heat of an argument can be a telltale sign of the status of your relationship. In fact, the amount of conflict you engage in with your partner doesn’t matter nearly as much as how the argument is handled. In healthy relationships, each partner responds to conflict in a caring and supportive manner & truly listens to and respects the other person.
- They share your values and goals: differences can be great for balancing out a couple and making things more interesting socially, but it’s important to be similar in your values and goals for the future. Prioritize similarities that have long-term implications, such as a shared desire (or lack of desire) for marriage or children.