You’ve met someone new and you’re on a date, and things are going great. Then, all of a sudden, your date asks for the check and heads for the exit – never to be heard from again.

What happened you ask? Well, maybe your date lost interest because of something you said or did – even though you didn’t realize it at the time.

Sometimes, you say things that mean one thing to you – but send an entirely different message to the person you’re with. Here’s 5 chemistry-killing phrases you should avoid at all cost:

  1. “I’m so busy”:  you may be busy, or you may just want your date to think you’re busy (or important) – but saying this phrase sends your date a clear message that you’re just not that into them – whether that’s what you actually mean or not.
  2. “Vancouverites are unfriendly”:  it’s true, Vancouver has the reputation of being an unfriendly city – which may or may not be true. But what’s certainly true is that by telling your date this, they’ll think you’re referring to them as well.  Insulting someone on a date (intentional or otherwise) may be the single greatest chemistry killer of all.
  3. “Umm…”:  sometimes when you’re nervous, or just not being self-aware, you say ‘umm’ a lot. Whatever funny or intelligent things you may be saying, all your date likely hears is the ‘Umms’.
  4. “What are you looking for?”:  asking someone you’ve just met what they’re looking for in a relationship partner kills chemistry on a few different levels – first, it turns your date into an interview (ie. not sexy at all); it also gives your date the impression that you’re not really into them. Assume what they’re looking for is you, then make them sure of it by the end of your date.
  5. “I’m still single because…”:  you may be trying to explain what a great catch you really are, but this phrase sounds defensive – and also gives your date the impression that their being single means there’s something wrong with them too. Be a great date, and leave the distinct (unspoken) impression that you’re still single because you haven’t met them until today!