Question: "What's the single biggest factor that makes your date a success or failure?" Answer: "You." If you've been single & dating for a while it can feel like dating is a crap shoot - a pure numbers game, where the numbers (and time) aren't on your side. But the truth is you're in charge - whether you realize it or not. Here's 8 moments that can turn your string of bad dates into a lasting connection.
- The day before: you wouldn't show up to an important business meeting without planning ahead would you? So why show up on a potentially life-changing event (ie. your date) unprepared? Think positively about your date, what you're going to wear & what you're going to talk about. Success in love - and in life - comes to those who are prepared.
- Before the date: plan your day so that you're not rushing to your date or, worse yet, showing up late & stressed. Get there a bit early, get comfortable & relax - you'll never get a 2nd chance to make a first impression.
- The introduction: start your date with a smile, an energetic 'hello!' and a warm greeting or embrace. Make your date feel special & that's what they'll likely soon become to you.
- The beginning: avoid starting off with anything too serious - tell them how nice it is to see them & chit chat about their/your day in a positive way. Find a way to make them smile - or better yet - laugh. It's much easier to keep a good beginning going than it is to turn around a bad start.
- The ordering: you may not think your interactions with the bar or restaurant staff matter to your date, but they do. Treating the staff with kindness & respect will send a warm and alluring message to your date - arguing with the waiter will do the reverse.
- The middle: once you've talked and laughed casually for a while, ask some engagement questions about them - questions that require an easy response - be sure you're listening as much (or more) as you're talking. Avoid negative topics (work stress, past relationships, politics, etc.) & keep things light and positive.
- The end: no matter how well the date is going, your best bet is to keep the first date relatively light & casual and not overly long - leave them wanting more. Tell them you've enjoyed meeting them & would love to see them again - suggest a time and method for your follow up (text, call, email) and bid them a warm and friendly goodbye.
- The follow up: however you told them you'd follow up - do it. Send them a nice text or message the next day telling them how much you enjoyed your date, and suggesting a few ideas for your 2nd date. Being true to your word will increase your chances of a 2nd date and, more importantly, finding your special someone.