Fixing problems with your dating approach is actually easy. Its identifying what those problems are that’s the hard part.
Are you going on lots of second and third dates? Are you enjoying dating? Do you feel like you’re moving closer to finding your relationship?
If your answer to any of the above questions is ‘no’, ‘maybe’ or even ‘not sure’, be sure you’re not making these 8 accidental dating mistakes:
- Too (late): arriving late, especially on a first or second date, sends a message to your date that your time is more valuable than theirs. Which is great, because you’ll have plenty of spare time on your hands if you keep arriving late to your dates.
- Out of focus: if you’re a busy single or professional, you probably spend most of your day juggling multiple tasks. But when you’re on a date with someone you like, your best bet is to be entirely focused on them, and them alone.
- Wrong place: you may have a couple of ‘go-to’ date places you like, because you feel most comfortable there. But ask yourself the following question: ‘what would be the best date location for my date partner?’ When in doubt, ask them where they’d like to go.
- Wrong time: finding the right time for your date is just as important as finding the right date spot. If you’re both busy, consider avoiding weekday lunch dates – it’s often too hectic and can end up feeling like a business meeting. Consider after work drinks dates, or weekend lunches or brunches.
- Be nice (to everyone): with the pressure of a first or second date, it’s easy to forget the basics sometimes. Be considerate & polite with your date and, equally importantly, with the wait staff at the restaurant.
- Dropping the ball: as Professional Matchmakers, one of the most frustrating dating problems we see is when two people like each other, and have a great date (or two) but simply let things ‘fall through the cracks’ and don’t follow through. Don’t be a sad dating statistic – when you’ve met someone you like, make it happen.
- Waiting for them to make the next move: likewise, don’t always assume the other person will make the next move after your first date. If you like him or her, reach out the next day to say thanks and suggest a second date. Or better yet, if things are going well on your first date, propose a second date right then and there.
- Dating is a system… Not!: in today’s online dating-app world, dating can start feeling like a second job – swiping photos and profiles with no results; or going on date after date that leads nowhere. If you’re feeling like this, take a break from online dating for a while – or try some new methods (hire a matchmaker, attend some singles-themed events, etc.). Unlike other parts of your life, dating doesn’t work if you’re just ‘mailing it in’.