10 Lies We Tell Ourselves About Dating & Relationships
February 21, 2023
“Why are you still single?”… is perhaps the most dreaded question that singles face. Whether from family or friends, its the ultimate loaded question. How honestly you answer this question says a lot about your prospects of finding someone special. If you find yourself giving these answers, beware:
- I’m not ready: if ever there was a self-fulfilling dating prophecy, this is it. Saying you’re not ready for a relationship will likely ensure that you won’t meet any compatible singles, which will make you even less ready. After all, its just a date.
- I’m happy being single: being positive about your single life is a good thing; planning for a life of prolonged singledom – not so much. As you get older, and as friends begin having families, you may find that being single becomes a lot less fun.
- I have very high standards: having high standards is good, making your standards so high that no-one meets them – not so much. Keep in mind that the most important qualities are not the ones on the surface, so take the time to get to know someone before you write them off.
- There are no good single men/women left: yes, this is a common complaint, but its also untrue. Be proactive, and beware of repeating this so often that it becomes true. You don’t need 100 compatible singles, just one.
- I’m not attracted to the single men/women I meet: immediate physical chemistry with someone is important, but its far from the most important thing. In fact, matchmakers will tell you that you must beware when you do have strong initial physical chemistry with someone as it may blind you to other more important factors.
- My Prince/Princess Charming will just appear: this, like all fairy tales, is unlikely to happen in real life. Being proactive is a much better bet.
- Dating is a drag: yes, dating (particularly online dating apps) can be a chore. Try focusing on ‘quality vs. quantity’ of matches – or hire a matchmaker like Executive Search Dating to do it for you – dating works best when you’re positive about it. If that seems hard, don’t look at it like dating at all, but simply a chance to meet some new people.
- I’m not ready for a family: its just a date. Thinking or talking about your views on having a family can be a sure fire chemistry killer, particularly on a first date. Remember, meeting someone special can change your attitude about many things.
- I’m not relationship potential at the moment: no-one is perfect, and everyone goes through life’s ups and downs. Instead of waiting for the perfect moment to meet someone new, look at meeting someone new as a positive and even essential part of becoming the person you want to be.
- Relationships don’t last in today’s world: as the old saying goes: ‘there are three types of lies: lies, damn lies, and statistics.” Forget about the divorce rate, its just a date after all.