There are lots of things that determine a couple’s long-term compatibility – their values, their goals, their idea of fun, their commitment to work.
But what also matters is what “type” you are – and what “type” is your partner. Some types go together like bread & butter. Others like oil & water.
So which type are you, and what does this mean for your relationship potential?
Depending on how you answer the question “how do you respond to expectations”, you are one of 4 types:
- Upholders generally meet both inner and outer expectations, meaning they don’t let others or themselves down.
- Questioners meet inner expectations; they’ll only do something if they think it makes sense.
- Obligers (the biggest category) meet outer expectations but don’t always meet inner ones; they usually need some form of external accountability.
- Rebels resist both inner and outer expectations; if you ask a rebel to do something, they’ll likely resist.
So which pair is the best match? Rebels and Obligers.
Why? Because Obligers can stomach Rebels’ constant resistance – and even enjoy it – whereas Questioners and Upholders would go nuts.
Ultimately, Rebels and Obligers have something in common. Both resist inner expectation and this gives them this feeling that the world is pushing on them and they want to push back.
Pushing back is harder for Obligers than for rebels, which means the Rebel partner can help the Obliger partner do what they’d really like to.
Of course, your tendency isn’t the only factor that determines the success of your relationship. But it’s probably an under-appreciated one.