Dating is a confidence game. If you're confident, you'll likely have success. If not, you likely won't. This may seem unfair, but it doesn't have to ruin your chances of finding your special someone. In fact, a small change in your dating approach may dramatically INCREASE your chances of finding a relationship. Here's 3 ways to increase your dating confidence, and your dating success:
- Focus on what you can control: unfortunately, you can't always control whether someone is going to be attracted to you. But you can control your actions. Focus on the things you can do to make your date successful - it may not always lead to long term relationship happiness, but it will likely lead to a 2nd or 3rd date, and that's a very good start.
- Laugh (at yourself): unlike your job, you can't achieve dating success simply by putting in more hours or effort doing it. That leads to dating frustration and, ultimately, dating burnout. Take a light, easy going approach to your dates - try looking at a date as simply a chance to meet someone interesting and new (not the potential beginning of a life changing relationship). This approach will relax you, make you a better date, and relax your date too - which will increase the chances of a love connection.
- Focus on the steps, not just the finish line: if you've been single for a while, it can be frustrating - particularly if you're at that point where you're truly ready for a relationship. Stop worrying about the end goal so much, and focus on moving in the right direction. If you're not meeting anyone at all, try some new methods (online dating apps, a professional matchmaking service, going out with some single friends, etc.). If you're going on lots of dates but very few 2nd and 3rd dates, sharpen your dating approach (see points 1 & 2 above), and target going on LESS first dates but MORE 2nd dates, etc. As the ancient proverb says: "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."