When you’re on a first date, looks matter. Its true.
But if you’re looking for true chemistry – the kind that lasts a lifetime – its not how you LOOK, but what you SAY that really matters.
So what should you say to create attraction & chemistry on your date? These 5 things:
- Complement, sincerely: everyone wants to be complemented – particularly if it feels genuine. Be in the moment, and be honest, but make a point to complement your date on something that catches your eye (their shoes, their dress, cologne, smile, etc.). If you can’t find even one single thing to complement your date on, its probably not a good sign – for them, but especially for you.
- Positively positive: a positive attitude speaks louder than words, particularly if you’ve just met someone new, who’s relationship-minded (like you). Even if someone’s looks don’t blow you away at first, if being around them makes you feel good, there’s a great chance of a second or third date – which is where true chemistry appears.
- Say anything: awkward silences are never great, but they’re particularly harmful on a first or second date. Don’t get stuck with nothing to say (because of nerves, or anything else), prepare a mental list before your date of fun things to talk about – especially if you have an idea of a subject that interests your date. For example, if your date loves music, tell him/her about that great music festival you attended last summer.
- Say nothing: nerves can sometimes leave you at a loss for words, but they can also lead you to a worse problem – which is talking all the time. Be self-aware on your date and aim for a 50/50 split of talking vs listening. The best conversations are built on something your date says, or better yet, something they’re excited about. Active listening is essential if you want to create true chemistry.
- Be bold: at the end of your date, don’t wait for your date partner to make the first move – if the dates gone well (or even if its gone average), tell them you’ve enjoyed it and suggest a second date. There’ll never be a better chance for a second date, then at the end of a good first date.