It is often speculated that men and women want very different things in a relationship partner.  In fact, the opposite is true. 

A key element, often overlooked however, is a term we like to call ‘relationship readiness’.  That is, when a man or woman is at the stage of their life where they are looking for a long term relationship, their ‘checklist’ of criteria is often quite similar.  If, on the other hand, that person is not seriously looking for a relationship, then their ‘checklist’ of criteria can be quite different and is often focused on purely superficial qualities such as ‘looks’.  This is one reason why meeting people in bars or online can be a frustrating way to go if you are looking for a relationship partner, since not everyone there is looking for something serious.

Here is a list of qualities that ‘relationship ready’ men and women BOTH look for in a date partner:

  1. Attractiveness: you find them physically attractive.
  2. Personality: you enjoy their personality; they make you laugh or at least find you funny.
  3. Good conversational skills: you have good and stimulating conversations.
  4. Positive: they smile and are fun to be around
  5. Relationship readiness: the person seems open and positive about relationships.