Perhaps the most stressful part of a first date is knowing whether your date is enjoying themselves. Are they enjoying your company and already thinking about a second date? Or are they bored and thinking about leaving soon? Here are some proven strategies to make sure your date gets what they want, and some tips on what to do if they’re not:
- What your date wants: to feel at ease – dating should be relaxed and fun. That can be hard when your dating partner is tense, stressed or scowling.
- What to do if they’re not – smile, relax, tell a funny story or two. Stop thinking that the world has to move on your date and just be your most relaxed self.
- What your date wants: to be heard – being with someone who likes to talk can be good, but not if your date begins to feel that they can’t get a word in edge-wise, or if they sense that you’re not interested in what they have to say.
- What to do if they’re not – don’t just listen, ACTIVELY listen… ask follow up questions, refer back to their earlier points, and sincerely listen to what they have to say. Target listening as much as you talk on your first or second date.
- What your date wants: to feel good – dating is a confidence game, the more confidence you have, the better you’ll feel, and the more dating success you’ll have. No-one wants to come away from a date feeling bad about themselves.
- What to do if they’re not – regardless of how much initial chemistry you do or do not feel with someone, do everything you can to make the date a positive experience for both of you. Firstly, you’ll rarely know if someone is a good match for you on a first date (always arrange to see someone a second or third time to determine that); also, even if you are not a romantic match for them, they may know someone who’s perfect for you!