With the advent of free dating apps like Tinder and Plenty of Fish, dating has become more of a ‘game’ than ever. And, like all games, there are winners and losers. Which side you end up on depends a lot on YOUR dating approach.

In the short term, those who know how to ‘game’ the dating app system may appear to have the most success. But in the long term, they don’t – here’s why:

  1. Playing, and losing, the numbers game:  with free dating apps like Tinder and Plenty of Fish, you get out what you put in. In other words, the more messages and ‘swipes’ you send, the more potential matches you’ll have. Here’s the problem: this works well with games, but not with real people.  As your volume of messages goes up, your match criteria must go down. No match criteria + profile misrepresentation = dating frustration.
  2. Being ready (part 1):  in spite of what the free dating apps would have you believe, it’s what you put out that matters, not the time you put in. Being in the right frame of mind and projecting the best version of yourself on your date is critical to dating success… focus on less dates with serious matches and you’ll get far better results than endless dates with fellow mega-daters.
  3. Being ready (part 2):  being that best version of yourself will help you avoid the dating world’s most tragic event – the dating vicious cycle:   you’re burned out by too many bad dates;  then you’re on a date with someone who is actually a good match for you; but the date doesn’t go well because you’re not projecting the best version of yourself; repeat.