Do you feel physical chemistry is important in a romantic relationship? If you’re like most people, you’d answer: “Yes”, or even “Absolutely!!”. And its true, chemistry is important – particularly when you’ve just met someone new. But what if I told you there’s such a thing as TOO MUCH chemistry? Well it’s true. Here’s 5 reasons why:
- Blinded by the light: professional matchmakers will tell you this – be wary when you meet someone for the first time and you’re EXTREMELY attracted to them. It may blind you to the fact that you’re not actually that compatible.
- Chemistry fading: no matter how strong your initial attraction to someone is, it can fade over time if you don’t have other, important things you share.
- Chemistry growing: on the other hand, when you have even just a little chemistry with someone initially, it can grow over time as you discover other things you like about each other. Its this type of chemistry that can even last a lifetime.
- In it for the long haul: if you’re dating casually or using dating apps, or just not really looking for anything too serious, then its natural to be more focused on initial attraction (why do you think dating apps only show you photos of matches, without a lot of other details?). But if you’re looking for a serious relationship, don’t base your decision purely on physical chemistry – its not the most important predictor of long term relationship success.
- Change your dating default setting: when on a first date, instead of thinking “I’ll only see them again if I’m completely blown away by their looks”, try this instead: “Unless I’m absolutely sure there’s no potential of future chemistry, I’ll plan on seeing them a 2nd or 3rd time to get to know the real person before deciding if they’re right for me.” Your future relationship will thank you for it.